


April fools day

by BleedingSparkles



Category: Joker and Harley Quinn - Fandom
Genre: Babies, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Harley Quinn - Freeform, Joker (DCU) - Freeform, Joker and Harley Quinn baby, Joker x Harley - Freeform, Original Character(s), Parenthood, Pregnancy, Suggestive Themes, The Joker - Freeform, Unplanned Pregnancy, harley quinns child, joker and Harley Quinn - Freeform, joker and harley quinn child, pregnant Harley Quinn, the jokers child
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-07 21:55:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14090511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleedingSparkles/pseuds/BleedingSparkles
Summary: The Joker and Harley Quinn discover that they are going to have a baby.





	1. The discovery

Harley awoke from her slumber suddenly due to a nauseating feeling in her stomach, she rolled over thinking that maybe changing her position would ease her pain and noticed that it was four in the morning. She tried to return back to sleep but the pain, which was now getting much worse, started to make her wretch and saliva began to build up in her mouth. “Screw it” she mumbled to herself, as she then jumped out of the purple bed sheets and made a run for the bathroom on the other end of the landing. She had one hand over her mouth and the other over her stomach; she didn’t even have time to turn on the light when she vomited into the sink which was closest. 

Ten minutes had passed and she was still in the bathroom, but now sitting on the floor in the darkness with her knees to her chest and resting her head against the bathtub. 'What could have caused this?' she thought with a grumble, 'I’ve been feeling sick for the past two weeks now, if it was food poisoning surly it would have eased by now and it’s always worse in the morning and never in the… evening.' Her eyes then widened at what next came to mind, she got to her feet and started to pace back and forth, quietly rambling to herself. “I have been more tired than usual… and more easily triggered… oh crap, and I’m late for my monthly thing.” The more she thought about it, the more she started to panic. She ran both hands through her messy blond hair as she continued to pace and over-think.

She was then knocked from her thoughts by the sound of deep groaning coming from the pitch black bedroom. “Harley?” came a tired voice, she jumped a little as she came too before quickly returning to the room. She found The Joker now sat up in bed looking at her in both anger and confusion, with his green hair sticking up in all directions from being asleep. “What the hell are you doing up at this hour?” he groaned sleepily, “sorry pud I needed the bathroom” Harley replied as she climbed back in to bed next to him and laid down as if nothing happened, The Joker just groaned once more then laid back down as well. 

When Harley next awoke to the sunlight coming through the gaps of the red ragged curtains of their bedroom, The Joker was gone. She rolled over to check the time on her little old fashioned alarm clock which was set up on her nightstand, it was now 10 o’clock. She slowly got up from the bed, feeling a little dizzy and light-headed then went straight to the bathroom to shower. Afterwards, while she was staring at her reflection in the slightly cracked mirror with a white towel wrapped around her body, she then remembered what had happened earlier that morning and it made her panic return. “I’m sure it’s nothing, this isn’t the first time I’ve had this scare, hell I’m not even sure it’s possible due to the amount of times we haven’t been careful” She thought to herself. “Although, this is the first time I’ve actually started to get symptoms.” she was suddenly hit with a wave of anxiety and found herself pacing again, but this time The Joker caught her doing so while he had heard her awake. 

She hadn’t noticed that her boyfriend was now standing in the doorway of the bathroom, looking very puzzled with one eyebrow raised, “Harl?” he finally said. She squealed in surprise with a jump and quickly grabbed her hairbrush from the wooden counter to use as a weapon, which stood between the toilet and the sink as a reflex. Her towel then suddenly came lose due to the jump, causing it to fall to the floor revealing her naked body. She didn’t seem to have noticed or at least cared, as she just stood there wide eyed clutching the brush near her face. Her reaction to his presence had startled him as well, but that was soon distracted by her lack of clothing. His brows lifted as his eyes slowly travelled down her body then back up to meet her gaze. He was confused, yet he couldn’t help the huge cheeky grin making its way across his face.  
“Um, Harl-?” he started, slowly lifting a finger,  
“Don’t do that!” she shrieked, still clutching the brush and panting  
“Harley” he began again, darting his eyes down then up while gesturing at her body.  
“Eeep!” she shrieked again, realising what he meant before dropping the brush and pulling the towel over her body once more, as The Joker chuckled at her now red face.  
“Aww don’t blush darl, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before” he added while still chuckling, she frowned in response.

“How far out of it were you to not notice me standing here?” he then asked with now a look of slight concern as he folded his arms. Harley thought for a moment and was about to speak but was cut off, “anyway I came up here to talk about the plan for today’s job but I think you’re too out of it to join, not to mention your constant vomiting.” Harley then looked at The Joker in shock, “Yes I know about that” he added before walking off back downstairs leaving her speechless. 

When she came downstairs she was casually dressed in black leggings and a red tank top, with her hair done up in her usual pigtails. Joker was getting ready to leave for the day, by packing up his weaponry into an old brown duffel bag in the living room on the coffee table. Harley knew not to argue with The Joker when it came to business so if he said she wasn’t joining, then she wasn’t joining so instead she just watched him.  
“What time do you think you’ll be back?” Harley asked standing in the doorway while fiddling with her top,  
“Probably around eightish” Joker responded simply, not taking his eyes of his packing. That suddenly gave Harley an idea; if The Joker is out all day, then that would give her the chance to find out if her accusations were true or not. She then turned and headed to the kitchen to make herself some breakfast. 

When Harley returned from the shops, she dumped the shopping bags on the kitchen table which had a ragged blue table cloth atop it. She rummaged through the contents to grab all four of the tests because she wanted to be thorough, and then quickly made her way upstairs to the bathroom. After completing the first test she stared at it waiting for the answer while shaking with anxiety and biting her nails, it came out positive. She then repeated the actions three more times, getting more and more panicked after each one she did, but they all came out positive. She stood there for a minute, staring at the four little white sticks on the lid of the toilet, which had a little plus sign on each one. Her face was pale and her body was ridged, she wasn’t sure what to do. She had imagined this scenario many times, but now it was actually happening, she didn’t know what to make of it. 

She got rid of all the evidence, by stuffing each one in empty food containers from the kitchen, and throwing them in the bin in the corner of the room. She heading to the living room and sat down on the black sofa with her legs crossed to contemplate her situation, while clutching one of the purple cushions as support. Harley had been waiting for this moment for a very long time; it has always been her dream to have a child with The Joker, but what they did for a living was always a setback. She tried to think back to the exact day that it must have happened but she couldn’t really tell. She then remembered that there was that one day a little while ago, just before she got sick, when they were out on a particularly difficult job. After they completed it, they wanted to celebrate and had gotten slightly carried away in the back of their van and forgot to use protection and by the time Harley noticed, it was too late. 

She didn’t bother telling him this because she didn’t want to cause any panic and frustration, and it soon escaped her mind. This was due to the fact that it wasn’t the first time they weren’t careful and everything was fine, but of cause this wasn’t the case. Harley knew, and has always known that The Joker despises children, so she knew that he probably wasn’t going to take the news lightly. She tried to think of when she should tell him, and how she should tell him for that matter. She was especially nervous because last time she brought up the topic of wanting a child; he tried to push her out the window again. On other occasions it would cause fights and result in a lot of broken objects and tears, it was always a sensitive topic. 

Harley spent the rest of the day sat on the sofa, she didn’t do anything around their home like usual, and she didn’t really feel like eating anything either. She just continued to be lost in her thoughts while staring at the purple coloured cracked wall, until she finally heard the front door open, ‘was it really eight already?’ She thought. She quickly got up and started to tidy the room to not cause any suspicion, by dusting the mantel piece above the fire-place in the left corner near the TV using a rag. She was then interrupted by The Jokers purple-sleeved arms wrapping themselves around her waist from behind, “hello puddin” she said in a happy tone, while resting her head against his chest. 

“Hey” he whispered seductively into her ear, making her giggle. He then proceeded to lift her off her feet causing her to kick her legs playfully and sit down on the sofa with her in his lap. He instantly took notice that she was slightly tense and on edge, something was definitely off about her. He was aware that she had been out of sorts recently, but decided to wait for her to admit it. Seeing as she hadn't accomplished that yet, his patience was wearing thin. “how are you feeling?” he asked in a soft tone while looking deep into her eyes. Usually when someone asks you this kind of question when something was up; you breakdown and lose all self-control, so Harley was really struggling to keep her emotions together as he asked this question. The Joker could see the emotion in her eyes, and the fact that she was clearly close to tears, yet she just smiled at him and said “I’m alright.” His concern quickly turned to anger as his expression dropped, he growled audibly before pushing her off of his lap to stand and face her.


	2. Confessions

Harley sat on the edge of the seat looking up at her boyfriend with worried eyes. He was now standing in front of her with his arms folded while giving her a deadly glare, she held the same look a dog would have if it had just peed on the rug.  
“What’s going on with you?!” he started, “do you honestly think I haven’t notice your strange behaviour lately? The fact that you’ve been extra moody, almost always tired and oh, we can’t forget the puking which you’ve clearly been trying hide.” Harley looked away in shame briefly as The Joker continued his rant “I try to be nice and ask you about it, but every time I do you always just say that you’re tired or fine when there is clearly something wrong, are you hiding something from me?”  
“No, I just didn’t know what was wrong, at first I thought I had somehow gotten food poisoning but it didn’t go away.”  
“Why didn’t you just tell me that you felt ill in the first place?!” he spat,  
“I didn’t want you to worry,” she confessed.  
The Joker scoffed and threw his arms in the air causing her to flinch slightly, “I don’t care if you’re ill Harley! I would just rather you tell me instead of leaving me guessing!”

Her heart sank at his words, the thought that he may not care about her at all made her bottom lip begin to quiver. “I do know what’s wrong with me though,” she muttered sadly, lowering her head and trying her best to ignore his last comment.  
“Oh, do you now?” Joker asked sarcastically as he placed his hands firmly on his hips,  
“Yes, but I only just found out today,”  
“Then I strongly suggest that you tell me, because I’ve had enough of your fake attitude!” he demanded in a deep and threatening tone through his teeth. 

Harley realised that telling him about her condition now, when he was this riled up was an extremely bad idea. She internally scolded herself for not just telling him when he asked her in the fist place, she could have avoided all of this but unfortunately it was too late. She tried to speak and tell him those two words but something stopped her, this only made The Joker’s anger grow as his expression darkened. “well!” he demanded again, but all she did was sit there struggling to find her voice while fiddling with her clothing. At this point he had had enough; he grabbed her by the collar of her top and dragged her to her feet, before he shoved her against the wall as she yelped. “Tell me what’s going on!” he shouted, as his hands were firmly pinning her against the cold cracked wall. Harley couldn’t take the anxiety anymore, the horrid anticipation, she felt like she was going to explode. Her heart was pounding in her chest, as she stared into his bright green eyes which were locked on her and glowing with rage. She then took a deep breath,  
“I-I- I’m”  
“You’re what? Out with it girl!”  
“I’m Pregnant!” she finally screamed, pinching her eyes shut as tears ran down her face.

The Joker’s eyes changed instantly to pure shock within seconds, it seemed that everything around him suddenly froze completely still. He didn’t know what he expected from her, but he certainly wasn’t expecting those words to come out of her mouth. Although it did now make sense to him, he refused to believe it. The Joker let go of his grip and backed away from his scared girlfriend, who just looked at the floor while rubbing her shoulders from where his hands had been. The Joker didn’t know what to say, he was very rarely left speechless. “I beg your pardon?” he finally spoke, Harley looked up at him and slowly made her way towards him with caution as she wiped away the tears.  
“We- we’re going to have a baby” she responded nervously,  
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?!” he snapped, stepping away as his body tensed,  
“w-well,”  
he turned away momentarily, running his hands through his hair to process this information before turning back. “aren’t you on the pill?!” The Joker asked in a panicked yet still angry tone.  
“I couldn’t keep to it, I always forgot to take it you know that” She begged, The Joker sighed angrily as he rolled his eyes. “How could you forget to use protection? This is as much your fault as it is mine!” Harley argued frantically, The Joker snapped his head back at her with dagger like eyes. “Ya know this doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” she then added in a small voice in hopes to calm him down after there was a brief silence. It didn’t seem to help as his expression grew darker once more.

“Tell me my dear, how is this anything but a bad thing?” he growled in an eerily calm voice, Harley felt very small at this point as she pulled her arms in while he loomed over her.  
“w-well” she stammered, “how is it a bad thing?”  
The Joker looked at her in surprise, “how is it a bad thing?” he asked rhetorically, “Oh well where do I begin!” The Joker yelled in a high tone as he rolled his head back. “How about the fact that we’re busy people Harley” he spat, “and I don’t have time for little brats, it would ruin everything!” He added with fury, throwing his arms up again.

She looked up at him pained yet slightly frustrated as her arms fell to her sides. “The difference there is that the child will be yours puddin, not just some random kid, it will be made from your own flesh and blood… does that not mean anything to you?!” she shrieked in a pleading voice as it began to crack. 

The Joker didn’t respond, he just continued to glare at her. He began thinking about what he should do about this little problem as his eyes travelled to her stomach, and then it hit him. He started to slowly walk towards her with heavy steps and determination in his eyes. Harley had a look of terror on her face at his change in movement and body language, Her arms retreated to her body as she went small again. She began backing up to try and create some distance between them, but he kept filling the gap until she was back against the wall she was previously pinned against. The Joker then raised his now clenched fist up high about to throw a punch, it then dawned on her that he was aiming for her stomach. 

She instantly gasped in fear as the tears escaped her eyes once more and she shielded his target. “Mistah J, p-please, stop, don’t do this” she rambled fearfully, but she knew he wasn’t listening. Suddenly to The Jokers surprise; something stopped him from being able to proceed with his current actions, which he couldn’t explain. Because he found himself unable to release his rising anger; he just growled heavily and stormed out of the room and out the front door, slamming it behind him.

Harley was also just as shocked; it happened all so fast, The Joker had never changed his mind about hitting her before, she really thought he was going to do it. While still looking dazed and breathing heavily, she slowly made her way to the sofa once more, shaking wildly before collapsing upon it and started to sob into the cushions out of both fear and relief.


	3. Acceptance

The following evening it was raining hard and the whole building was silent. All the lights were off including the living room where Harley was, the only noise was from the rain and the old grandfather-clock in the hall which barely worked. She sat on the sofa with her legs crossed again, in her red and black pyjamas that had little smiley faces all over them, which she wore the previous night as well. Her blood shot eyes were just staring off into nothing except the pitch black, she had dried tears on her face, her hair was like a birds nest and her hands were clutching the throw pillow to her chest like her life depended on it. The Joker had not yet returned, or made any contact with her since he stormed off the previous night; she hadn’t obtained any sleep since the fight or eaten or drank anything, in fact she had barely moved. 

All she had done was wait with anticipation for him to come home, that was if he did come home. She was exhausted, scared, worried and all she wanted was The Joker with her. In fact she needed The Joker with her, more than ever before. But she knew now that he might not want to be there for her, or the creature that was growing inside her and that made the pain she was feeling so much worse. 

She had developed a pretty bad migraine at this point, and After not having left the sofa for probably about four hours straight, Harley thought it might be wise to try and move and head to the kitchen to finally get a drink of water. Her body trembled slightly as she slowly raised herself from the furniture, despite the fact that her eyes had adjusted to the dark, she was suddenly hit with a wave of Vertigo and lost her balance. She breathed in sharply as she could instantly feel all the blood draining from her head, resulting in the room to start spinning. She could hear a loud ringing in her ears and her stomach suddenly felt extremely odd, flashing lights then began to make themselves present in her eyes which blurred her vision. Her legs could no longer stand the pressure and they gave way, and before she knew it, she was out. 

Not long after that, the front door slowly opened and in walked a very wet and tired Joker. He had spent the last twenty-four hours doing pretty much the same thing as Harley; sat in a quiet place lost in his thoughts, while trying to get his head round this whole situation. He took off his purple wet coat and hung it up before he ran his fingers through his thick green hair. He flicked on the light which illuminated the large hall and stood still so he could listen out for Harley, but he was met with silence. He just rolled his eyes and went off to find out where she was. The first place that came to mind, was that she was asleep upstairs because it was quite late and he couldn’t make out any lights on, not to mention all the doors he could see were closed.

He climbed the creaky stairs and headed towards their bedroom, turning the landing light on in the process. He pushed open the door and the light loomed over the bed sheets, which were untouched; he raised and eye brow from the doorway and looked back out onto the landing, he noticed the bathroom door was open so she wasn’t going to be in there either. “Where could she be? Surly if she was downstairs she would have heard me and come running,” The Joker thought aloud as he scratched his damp head.

He shrugged his shoulders and continued to search the other upstairs rooms, including his study, even though rule number one is not to go in there without his permission. He continued to look bewildered as he stood out on the landing again, and he was now starting to actually get concerned. He then made his way towards the Kitchen, and after discovering that the kitchen was also deserted, he just sighed and wondered why he didn’t just check the living room to begin with. He slowly opened the door and turned on the light, “Harley?”

He suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, as he saw his now pregnant girlfriend lying in a heap in the middle of the floor next to the coffee table. “Harley!?” he called in shock as he ran towards her without a second thought. He bent down and turned her head to face him and was put on edge by her state; her skin was almost as pale as his own and her eyes were dark and sunken. “Harley! Harley!” he shouted again as he tapped her cheeks a few times, unfortunately he got no response. He then pressed two fingers into her neck to check for a pulse and he sighed in relief when he found what he was after. He carefully lifted her up into his arms and decided to take her limp body to the bedroom. 

Harley groaned deeply as her eyelids slowly opened, she looked around to find that she was no longer in the living room, instead it was morning and she was lying in bed. She then saw The Joker sat on the edge of the bed next to her, he was looking at her with what looked like a sincerely concerned expression on his face mixed with pure annoyance. She rubbed her eyes and carefully began to sit up in an attempt to fully come round, “Mistah J?” she asked tiredly, wondering if she was dreaming. 

“I swear if you ever do that again, I will kill you,” The Joker growled in a half-jokingly and half-serious way. Before he had time to say anything else; Harley quickly leapt onto him with such a force they fell back first onto the floor, this didn’t seem to faze her in the slightest as she continued to hug him so tightly he was struggling to breathe. “I’m so glad you came back puddin!” she exhaled happily, burying her face in his chest as tears escaped her eyes, while he just patted her back comfortingly in response. Their embrace was soon cut short though, by Harley who shot up and ran to the bathroom to empty her stomach into the toilet as The Joker watched her leave with a deadpan look on his face, "well that's one way to ruin a moment" he muttered. 

When she returned to the bedroom she sat next to The Joker, who had gotten off the floor and was now on the end of the bed waiting for her.  
“What happened last night, did I pass out or something?” she asked, scratching her head,  
“Well you definitely weren’t sleeping” he answered sharply. “Now tell me Harley, why did I come home to find you unconscious on the living room floor?”  
she paused to think for a moment, “well… um I didn’t sleep or eat anything after you left and I was pretty shaken up, so I guess that could do it,” she answered with an awkward laugh while rubbing the back of her neck as The Jokers expression darkened.  
“What the hell Harley!” he shouted, as she flinched a little, “You’re gonna have to watch yourself if we are going to keep this kid ya know!” Harley was taken aback by that last comment as she blinked at him, before turning her body to face him fully. “Wait… so you’re okay with keeping it” she asked, her voice filled with hope, “What changed your mind?” 

The Joker thought very hard about that question, he knew that Harley had been wanting a child for some time now, but of course he was always against it, no matter how many times she brought it up, he would always turn her down. But He was still trying to figure out why he changed his mind about punching out the thing, he had never hesitated about killing someone in the past. It made him wonder if deep down, maybe he was more accepting of the idea than he thought. Instead of telling her this he sighed heavily, “don’t question me, but Yes Harley I suppose we can keep it.” Her eyes then lit up with glee as if it was Christmas day and she once again leapt onto him, this time without falling to the floor and she hugged him tight before kissing him passionately.


	4. Adjustments

Three months had now passed, Harley was leaning over the toilet after having just thrown up as usual. “Why is this still Happening!?” she screamed croakily as she lifted her head from the bowl, “every single morning I’m vomiting!” When her stomach finally eased, she slowly got to her feet and grabbed the closeted item to her, which happened to be a glass of water from the sink and lobbed it at the wall furiously. The loud smash of the glass warranted The Joker to emerge out of the bedroom, wearing just his green and purple poka-doted boxers to see what was going on. He folded his arms and shook his head in the doorway of the bathroom,  
“Harley, could you maybe not smash up the place when you’re having an episode?” he asked the tensed up female, who was growling after every breath she took and just staring at nothing in particular. He then just shook his head again at her lack of response and left to head down stairs to grab a dust-pan and brush. “You’re one to talk!” she then called back at him as she began to carefully step over the mess in her bare feet. When he returned upstairs, Harley was now standing outside the bathroom leaning on the wall with her arms folded and her lips pulled into a tight line. “The doctor said you have to watch your temper” The Joker reminded her sternly, as he then handed her the equipment which she snatched out of his hands to clean up the glass, he then headed back to the bedroom to change.  
“I will if you will!” she shouted to him again as she began sweeping while The Joker just sighed and continued walking,  
“this kid better be worth it” he muttered under his breath. 

When Joker made his way to the kitchen, now fully dressed in his usual suit, he stopped in his tracks to find Harley sat at the dining table sobbing to herself. her hair was a mess and she was still wearing her red pyjama shorts and tank top. This was accompanied with her stuffing her face with left-over pizza with marshmallows scattered on top, and drinking chocolate milk.  
“Um… Harl? I know you're pregnant but that’s just weird” he started while pulling a disgusted face from the doorway, “why are you crying this time?”  
“Because I’m gonna get fat!” she shrieked before shoving more pizza into her chocolate covered mouth.  
“You will if you keep eating like that” he stated simply. This just made her sob harder so he reluctantly made his way over in an attempt to comfort her.  
“Don’t touch me!” she snapped, shoving his hand away which resulted in him glaring at her, “you did this to me” she sobbed again, now getting tears on her food. The Joker just sighed and rolled his eyes, then proceeded with his first intentions of making himself some cereal, he then sat down opposite her to eat as she continued to cry without making eye contact.

Once The Joker was done eating, he got up and started to walk away, but was stopped by Harley jumping out of her seat and quickly hugging him from behind. “I’m sorry pud, I didn’t mean it” she squeaked as she turned him round and buried her face in his purple suited chest.  
“Don’t sweat it, kid” he responded softly while patting her head. She then looked him in the eyes before she leaned in and kissed him to make her apology more effective, which he didn’t refuse. Soon enough, she got pretty into her actions and began to deepen the kiss and pull on his clothing.  
“Hey, wow, wow, calm down there sweets” The Joker interrupted, gently pushing her away. She gave him a disappointed look which was accompanied with a pout, “you know I don’t normally mind playing with you but I’ve got a lot to do today,” he told her gently as he rubbed her arms.  
“Fine” Harley sighed, before grabbing a white napkin from the table and began wiping the food from around The Jokers mouth, he looked at her puzzled and furrowed his brow at her actions. “Sorry pud” she giggled, “I got a bit of stuff on your face”  
“Thanks” he replied sarcastically.

“Puddin, do you think I’m starting to show?” she then asked as she placed the used napkin in the bin, before turning her body to the side for him to get a good look at her stomach. “Hmm” he started as he examined her, “well something is definitely bigger” he said as he stared at her chest with a devilish grin while stroking his jaw.  
“Puddin, come on be serious” she replied, playfully hitting him while giggling uncontrollably as he laughed.  
“Is this a trick question?” he finally asked suspiciously once he regained himself, “less than twenty minutes ago you were complaining about how fat you’re gonna get, now you’re basically asking me if you’re already starting to look fat.”  
“I’m over that now” she smiled while gesturing with her hand dismissively, he just blinked at her in confusion as he was still trying to get use to her indecisive emotions. “I’m being serious J, getting fat is a good thing in this case” she encouraged. He wasn’t quite convinced as he continued to give her a suspicious look before proceeding to examine her again.  
“Yeah I think you are,” he admitted slowly “but only a little bit.”  
she smiled warmly as she looked down and began to stroke her stomach lovingly. “Oh yeah, don’t forget we’ve got the first ultrasound tomorrow,” Harley reminded The Joker who was now filling the dishwasher.  
“I haven’t forgotten, pumpkin” he sighed, Harley looked at him quizzically, “Aren’t you excited pud? We’re finally gonna see what our baby looks like,” She encouraged happily while jumping up and down.  
The Joker turned to her with a bored expression “Harley, the kid isn’t going to look like much at this point, I bet it doesn’t even have limbs yet.”  
she scowled at him angrily, but then her eyes lit up as an idea came to mind; “I know what might make you look forward to tomorrow,” she started as she folded her arms confidently. The Joker just rolled his eyes and headed for the door, “we could be having more than one." 

The Joker instantly paused and turned to her distressingly as she just stood there smug, “we could end up having twins ya know puddin, maybe even triplets.” He physically shuddered at the thought, before growling and leaving the room as Harley’s smirk grew bigger. 

One month later, Harley was standing in front of their full length bedroom mirror one morning, admiring her slightly rounded stomach as she stood there sideways caressing it and trying to imagine what she’ll look like in her third trimester.  
“Harley, your stomach is not a crystal ball, stop rubbing it already” The Joker spoke, as he walked into the bedroom and headed towards his antique wardrobe to start getting ready for the day.  
She glared at him through the mirror. “I’ll have you know, I’m trying to make the baby start moving,”  
“It’ll move when it wants to Harl”  
“I thought it would have started moving by now” she commented with concern.  
“You’re just over reacting, It’s still early” The Joker sighed as he buttoned up his shirt, “and quit stressing, it’s not good for it.” Harley still held worried eyes but she decided to listen to him and try to ignore it, she then headed to her own wardrobe on the opposite side to The Jokers and began getting dressed herself.  
“Are you happy about the baby, J?” she asked after a brief silence as she pulled out a pair of leggings,  
“I’m happy that there’s only one little monster in there.”  
She turned to him with an annoyed expression and placed her hands on her hips, “is that the only reason you were so eager to go to the ultrasound? Even if we were having multiples, there wouldn’t have been anything you could do about it.” The Joker only huffed in response with his back turned as he pulled on his purple blazer. 

“But seriously, are you excited?” she asked him again, this time with more worry in her voice.  
“Oh yeah I can’t wait” he began with sarcasm, “I’m especially looking forward to having to deal with all the screaming, crying, puking- oh wait, I already get that from you” he laughed. she gave him a hard look before proceeding to change into her leggings while standing up. She quickly realised that this was a bad idea as she then began to stumble and almost hit the floor, if it wasn’t for The Jokers quick reflexes as he swiftly moved and caught her before she hit the ground.  
“You stupid dame!” he yelled furiously once she was steady on her feet, “if I hadn’t of caught you, you could have hurt the god damn baby!”  
Harley quickly shrunk down in fear, “I’m sorry puddin” she squeaked.

The Joker just narrowed his eyes at her, before walking out of the room and off downstairs. Harley couldn’t help but smile. His reaction kinda answered her question about his thoughts on the baby, as she looked down and placed her hands on her stomach, “I knew your daddy cared about you” she cooed softly.


	5. Concerns

Harley was now six months into her pregnancy; she was currently sat on the sofa wearing plain black leggings and a long red and black stripy top, calmly stroking her stomach as she often does while waiting for The Joker to finish getting ready. They were about to head to their private doctor to have an ultrasound, who was known only as Dr Wilson. He had been working for the couple for years; it was useful having someone who could patch them up whenever they got injured out on jobs, they couldn’t exactly go to the local hospital and luckily for them, he had had previous experience with delivering babies.  
Harley was still extremely worried about the baby; it had still not shown any sign of movement. Even The Joker seemed somewhat distressed at this point but it was obvious that he was trying to hide it. 

“Alright, you ready?” The Joker spoke, as he entered the room while straightening his purple jacket.  
I’ve been ready for the past fifteen minutes Puddin,” she responded in slight annoyance as The Joker started grabbing the bare essentials; such as his keys from the mantel piece, and a few weapons from a wooden chest, which was sat in the corner of the room just in case they ran into trouble.  
“I’m surprised it doesn’t take you very long,”  
“Well I can’t fit into most of my clothes as ya know, so I don’t have to spend loads of time deciding what to wear.”  
“Yes Harley I know” He sighed, “I’m the one who has to bring back clothes that will fit you, and I can’t imagine what that looks like to on-lookers; just the clown Prince of crime himself, casually running out the back of shops with armfuls of women’s clothing.”

Harley then chucked as she pictured it, “I was also referring to that growth of yours” The Joker then continued, as he turned around and pointed at her rounded stomach. “You get tired pretty easily these days, and watching you try to bend over is hilarious” he chuckled.  
Harley folded her arms across her chest with a frown, “J don’t call the baby a growth,”

“Well to be fair, it is a growth” The Joker defended as he began filling his pockets, she considered retorting but then decided it wasn’t worth it. Instead she just shook her head before reaching out her hands in his direction, “can you help me up?”  
“Can’t you manage by yourself?”  
“I can, but as you said it doesn’t take a lot to tire me out” she stated, “plus you’re standing right in front of me.”  
“Oh go on, I can do with a laugh” he smiled as he leant on the mantel piece,  
“J!” She shouted angrily  
“ugh, fine” he groaned, before walking over to pull her to her feet. 

Despite his attitude, Harley was suprised by the way The Joker was reacting to the whole baby thing. One of the first things that she noticed was at the first ultrasound, when she saw the look on his face when the baby appeared on the screen. She expected him to turn his nose up in disgust, but instead he smiled bigger than she had ever seen him smile before, and she was sure it wasn’t just because they were only having one. She had also noticed that he had been checking on her a whole lot more; while she was trying to nap, she would hear the door creek open and see his heads silhouette in the light that shon over the bed, he would also do the same thing when he was up in his study most of the time, while she was doing chores or watching TV. He was still trying to do it without her noticing, but she was more vigilant then he thought.  
He would also return home with more and more baby stuff as well, from the cot itself to colourful bibs and blankets. He was definitely taking a serious interest in the baby, and when he realised that there may be something wrong with it because it hadn’t moved, made him seem genuinely concerned. She really couldn’t get her head round it; especially considering he never wanted it in the first place. 

“What are you hoping for?” Harley suddenly asked The Joker who was busy driving through the evening traffic in their purple Duisenberg car, “Um… I’m not too sure, I’m leaning more towards a boy but I’m not fussed” he casually replied, not taking his eyes off the road. “What about you?”  
She stared out the window in thought, “I really don’t mind, I can kinda see it being a boy but then again I’d be happy having a girl too” She admitted.  
“Here’s an idea” The Joker began after a short pause, “how about we don’t find out what it is, I’d like it to be a surprise to be honest” The Joker said with a smile as he then pulled up behind the building.  
“That sounds like a fun idea” she beamed, “that way we would be even more excited for the big day.”  
“Exactly cupcake,” he smiled again as he turned off the engine. 

Once inside, they were greeted by Dr Wilson, who had shoulder length brown hair, glasses and a British accent. He guided them through the hallway which had old wooden walls and flooring, and a long green rug stretched through it with dim lights hanging from the ceiling. When they entered the examination room however, it looked considerably different; the walls were painted white and the floor was tilled light blue with a very bright light hanging overhead.

The Doctor instructed Harley to lie down on the blue and white medical bed, which was placed in the middle of the room against the wall. Joker pulled up a chair next to her while the doctor started to prepare the machine, “How’s everything been going” he asked the couple softly, once they were settled.

“Everything has been fine doc, we’re just a little worried because the baby hasn’t started moving yet,” Harley answered cautiously as she glance at The Joker, before adjusting herself atop the uncomfortable bed and lifted up her shirt. The doctor then reached for his stethoscope from the metal table and proceeded to listen for a heartbeat; Harley instantly grabbed Jokers hand and squeezed it hard, he just stroked her hand with his free one in response, trying to calm her nerves.

“Everything sounds fine; sometimes they just need a little persuasion to start wriggling,” The Doctor reassured them as he put the stethoscope away, “how often do you talk to the little one?”  
“Well I do it all the time, but he” she gestured to The Joker, “doesn’t.”  
The Joker scowled at her, “Hey!”  
“The child will start moving eventually, so it’s not that much of a big deal,” The Doctor told them as he moved to retrieve the gel from one of the draws, “But Mr Joker, It will help you develop a bond with your child if you did talk to Miss Quinn's stomach”  
“I’ll think about it,” The Joker responded after a pause as Harley smiled at him happily. 

“Do you two wish to know the gender?”  
“Nah, we want it to be a surprise” The Joker answered enthusiastically.  
“Ah yes, it can be a lot more interesting that way,” the doctor commented as he started to apply the cold solution to Harley’s stomach while she suddenly flinched at the feeling. He quickly turned off the light as the monitor came to life, then started to show the baby on the screen as he moved the wand around on Harley’s stomach. The couple instantly began smiling at the small creature before them; The Joker thought it was such a strange looking thing, but at least it looked more human than the last time, when it just resembled a strange drawing done on a chalk board. 

The next day, Harley was determined to make the baby move, she had been singing and reading to her stomach since they came back from the doctors but it still had no effect. Harley then was able to convince The Joker to talk to his child, so she was now sat on the sofa sideways, resting her back against the armrest with The Joker sat opposite, with both hands on either side of her stomach. 

The Joker was looking slightly uncomfortable, and growing quite impatient, “Come on, start moving in there.”  
Harley giggled, “Is that the best you got?”  
“It’s not easy talking to something you can’t see, Harley” he retorted as he continued to think. “wakey, wakey!” The Joker then called to the unborn child,  
“Puddin, I don’t think yelling at the baby will help,” she giggled again  
”I was not yelling, it’s just a little frustrating” The Joker protested, continuing to poke at the bump. “It would make daddy very happy if you could start wriggling” he continued in a higher tone with a hint of anger but still nothing, “I guess this kid doesn’t want to make it's daddy happy then” he added, folding his arms in a childish way as Harley giggled some more. “What’s so funny?” he muttered,  
“It’s just really cute” She smiled.  
The Joker just rolled his eyes and continued to attempt at making his child move, “why are you being so stubborn?”  
His responses to the uncooperative baby, this just continued to make Harley giggle and laugh at how he handled the situation, “oh yeah, laugh it up Harley.”  
“I can’t wait to see you communicate with the baby when it arrives” she chuckled,  
He was about to give up when he suddenly felt something kick; they both stopped and look at each other, “finally” they both announced simultaneously as they smiled. Joker then placed both hands on Harley’s stomach again as the baby continued to fidget within.


	6. Pain

After now having gone through just over eight months of pregnancy, The Joker’s patience was wearing thin and he was now getting quite fed up. Due to her condition, Harley had obviously been unable to join The Joker when he went out to cause mayhem, which he admitted wasn’t nearly as fun. She was constantly moody even when he was being nice to her, so it was getting harder and harder for him to control his temper each day. She could go from being excited about the baby, to crying because she thinks she’s ruining her life, to either being angry at The Joker for impregnating her or being thankful, to wanting to “play,” then to suddenly wanting to cuddle in a matter of minutes. The Joker found it very exhausting and difficult to keep up with. 

He hated how needy she was before, but now that she was pregnant she was twice as bad. He had to keep his rage and anger inside whenever he was in her presence so not to stress her out or hurt her. But it’s not easy to do such a thing when she’s constantly in need of him. Being in her third trimester meant she was limited to the things she could do, so tasks like doing the washing and cleaning certain things were left to The Joker. So not only was He planning schemes and going out to accomplish them, down a Hench-woman. He was also coming home to said Hench-woman who threw herself at him whenever he walked through the door, and would almost cause him to fall backwards because of her state, he was left with the added bonus of washing clothes as well, which she obviously had to teach him.

To avoid lashing out at his very pregnant girlfriend, he decided to spend as little time as possible around Her. he wouldn’t go to bed at the same time as her, he would eat quickly without making eye contact, or try to eat at a completely different time to her, and he would either go straight out for the day or stay in his study all day. When he did have to spend some time with her he would try to distance himself mentally, to try and avoid arguments because she had become just as irritable as him. 

It was nine in the evening and The Joker was in his study working on plans for his next outing, while Harley was downstairs in the living room reading a magazine. The Joker hadn’t told her why he had been keeping his distance for the past month or so. She had no idea why he was acting this way, and every time she asked him he would ignore her and leave the room to avoid the question. The only time he was actually comforting was at night in bed, when he would be right up close behind her, with his arm draped over her body as he caressed her stomach. This was obviously starting to get to her, she was getting more scared and nervous as each day past. Her hormones weren’t helping her feel better either; she often cried to herself over the fact that The Joker wasn’t really there for her, especially when she needed him the most right now. 

From time to time she would suddenly re-evaluate the situation she was in, despite there not being anything she could do about it. She knew she was in for it now. She was about to have a child with The Joker; one of the most feared men in all of Gotham. She was so caught up in the positive side of things that she didn’t even realise that this could have been a horrible mistake. That and the fact that she actually has to push it out of her body, child birth was always a small fear of hers and she had ignored it up until now. The Joker has an incredibly short temper for one thing and he could easily lash out at the child like he does her, who would look after the child when Harley went back to going on heists?, The child could be used as a weakness against them, the child could get hurt, and what if the child doesn’t want to be like them? It is very possible that the child may want to be more like Batman. 

These weren’t the only concerns she had bottled up inside either, she could probably compile a whole list if she wanted to. It was then that she realised that these very reasons could be why The Joker was so against having a child, she found it so ironic that she had to actually get pregnant to realise it. She wanted to talk to him about these issues and fears, but because of his behaviour she hadn’t been able to. To make matters even worse; she also hadn’t managed to tell The Joker that she had started getting cramps in her stomach, which were slowly getting worse. 

Meanwhile upstairs, The Joker was searching for a particular plan that he had thought up to annoy the bat with tomorrow, seeing as it was going to be April fool’s day. But after searching and searching, he still had no luck and he found himself finally losing his temper.  
“HARLEY!” He roared, his voice echoed throughout the entire building making Harley scramble to her feet instinctively at this sudden random occurrence, which wasn’t easy for her currently. She almost fell back down again due to how quickly she moved, and it increased the cramps she had been having on and off all day dramatically, as she gasped in pain. Following the violent echo was The Joker, storming into the room in which she was in.  
“Have you been in my study?!” he demanded  
“I-I had a little tidy in there earlier while you were out, b-because there was stuff everywhere” she answered timidly, as she tried to massage away the pain in her back and sides.  
The Jokers rage increased at her response, “One; you don’t go in my study, and two; cleaning is the last thing you should be doing right now!” he spat shaking his finger as he approached her.  
Her eyes suddenly filled with tears “I got bored pud, I haven’t left the house in ages and I thought it would help.”  
He narrowed his eyes at her, “don’t complain to me about being stuck inside all day, you wanted that thing!” he pointed at her stomach as she looked down, “you need to pay the consequences!” Harley went silent as tears began to fall. “Anyway” He continued as if his last statement was nothing, “one of my plans have gone missing, while you were disobeying simple orders did you happen to throw any of them out?!”  
“I don’t think so” she thought while snuffling, “why are you shouting at me over this?” she added, while trying to ignore the pain and the fact that her nerves were going crazy as she began to shake. Suddenly the baby started to kick frantically, causing some concerns to rise in Harley, and it started to make her breathing heavy. 

The Joker seemed completely oblivious to her change as he began walking around the room, before stopping at the doorway and turning to her. “Because I’ve been finding it hard enough trying to cope with your, dare I say it, bitchy moods, and discovering you’ve been moving things around in my study has been the icing on the cake!”  
Harley was stunned by his words, but her thoughts were suddenly distracted by the pain she was feeling hit once more. But this time it was followed by the sudden feeling of water coming from between her legs, her body froze in fear and shock as more tears ran down. The Joker was still shouting at her but she wasn’t listening anymore, it was like white noise at this point and he hadn’t even noticed what just happened. 

“Puddin,” she muttered in a small voice which was barely above a whisper, but he still continued to rant. “Puddin,” she repeated, a little louder and a little more panicked but he still was ignoring her plead. “PUDDIN!” she finally belted out as she slammed her arms down to her sides. She wasn’t usually one for shouting but it seemed to have worked, as it instantly silenced the furious clown as his mouthed closed immediately, and he glared at her intensely for the interruption. “…I think my water just broke” she finally chocked up in another small and frantic voice, with a look of fear and panic spread across her tear covered face. The Joker’s eyes just travelled down her body to notice how tense it had become, and the very distinctive damp patch which was gathering underneath her enlarged stomach.


	7. Stress

The Joker just stood there for what felt like forever, staring at her with no indication of what he was thinking. One second he was shouting repeatedly, the next he became a statue. The Joker then quickly moved towards her, grabbed her by the arm and dragged her through the hall and up the stairs to the bedroom. He now had a fixed, concentrated expression on his face and wasn’t saying a word, as Harley whimpered the entire time he lead her. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing as he didn’t stop to think or panic once, it was as if he had played out this scenario a thousand times.

Once they were in the room, he promptly made the bed and placed both the pillows in the centre with one on top of the other, still in silence. Harley just watched him in surprise; she had imagined him running all over the place, having a panic attack when the time actually came, so the fact that he was so unbelievably calm was completely unexpected. As soon as he was done, he then proceeded to help her slowly get into the centre of the bed as she made a series of uncomfortable noises. Once she was settled, he then grabbed the phone from his bedside table and started dialling. “Hello Dr Wilson, It’s The Joker” he began in his usual scarily chirpy tone of voice, “you need get over her right now because my girls water has just broken…yeah I know it’s early… no she has not just peed herself… yes I’m sure… okay… good,” after he hung up the phone he quickly left and headed to the bathroom. When he returned, he had an armful of colourful towels and dumped them on the end of the bed, before perching himself awkwardly besides Harley with his hands clasped together nervously. She hadn’t taken her eyes off of him the whole time; she just stared at him with a look of both panic and confusion as she continued to breathe deeply. 

The Joker didn’t know exactly what to say at this moment in time, he couldn’t even remember why he was mad anymore. It just suddenly got very real, very quick. The silence was then broken by Harley as she clutched her stomach and moaned audibly, “Holy crap, I didn’t know it would hurt this much” she whimpered, “I don’t think the baby liked you yelling puddin” she finally added between breaths.  
He ran a hand through his green hair, and turned to face her, “why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner?”  
“I couldn’t get a word in,”  
The Joker suddenly felt a wave of guilt hit him, something he didn’t feel very often. “Geez, I’m sorry Harl”  
“its okay puddin” she muttered, patting his back. 

Their conversation was soon cut short as Harley received a sharp pain go through her body, she groaned loudly and grabbed The Jokers arm tightly, causing him to jump at the sudden burst. “When is the Doctor gonna get here?!” she screamed, leaning her head back.  
“He’s on his way just try to stay calm,”  
“That’s easy for you to say, you don’t have a baby about to emerge out of your genitals!” she snapped. "Which I'm terrified of by the way!"  
The Joker straightened his sleeve from her grip, "That's not at all unusual" he stated.  
she scrunched up her face in pain, "No, I mean I've always been scared of childbirth."  
"And yet you wanted to have a child?!" The Joker questioned angrily, "You can't have your own child without going through childbirth!"  
Harley went quiet as she tried to think of the reason, "I guess i hadn't considered it" she finally admitted coolly  
He just blinked at her, "Hadn't considered it?" oh my god" he groaned as he flopped dramatically against the mattress. 

Ten minutes later, Harley’s state hadn’t changed and the doorbell finally rang; Joker instantly sprung up from his place on the bed and quickly left to answer it.  
“Alright let’s see what we’ve got here” the doctor said calmly, as he walked into the room with The Joker. He scanned the situation, and placed his large leather bag full of equipment onto the floor next to the bed. Harley was lying in the middle of the purple bed, wearing a red nightgown with her legs stretched out and her head resting against the head bored, and she looked rather flushed in the face.  
“Comfortable?” the doctor asked,  
“Not particularly” Harley responded in a pain-filled voice, as The Joker sat back down next to her. The doctor then pulled out his stethoscope from the bag, and moved to place it under her nightgown to listen for a heartbeat.

“Well the baby’s heartbeat is a little high and the child seems to be making quite a fuss in there” he began with a look of concern as he sat up straight, “when did it start?”  
“About an hour ago” Harley responded nervously after a pause, The Joker instantly shot her a look of confusion because as far as he knew, it only happened around twenty minutes ago.  
“Wait, so you were having pains before I came in the living room?” he asked in a serious tone,  
“I’ve been having pain for a few days now,” she answered hesitantly as she looked up at him  
“And you didn’t think to tell me!?”  
“I tried but you kept avoiding me!” she shot back angrily.  
“Okay that’s enough” the doctor interrupted sternly, “Miss Quinn, if you are in pain then you should immediately speak up for the health of the child and yourself. You have clearly been under a lot of stress recently, which has triggered your labour,” Harley instantly began groaning in regret.  
“Exactly!” The Joker agreed, now getting stressed himself as he stood up “You should have just outright told me instead of suffering in silence!”  
“You’re the one who came in like a rhinoceros and began shouting at me because you lost your god damn plans!” she retaliated in annoyance.  
His shoulders went stiff and he balled up his fists, “I wouldn’t have done if I knew that you were in pain!”  
Her voice suddenly went surprisingly deep, “yes you would have done because that’s what you do!” she barked 

“Okay, Okay calm down” the Doctor cut in, placing a hand on her shoulder as Harley pagan panting, while The Joker tuned away and folded his arms angrily. “You need to stop arguing, it will do a lot more harm than good.”  
She looked at the doctor, now on edge by how serious and concerned he was acting, “what do you mean, what harm can it do?”  
“Well I’m not going to beat around the bush, Miss Quinn” the doctor started, “If you keep shouting at each other and stressing yourself out, you’re going to stress the child out as well, which considering the fact the child is already unhappy, can lead to serious issues such as death.” 

Harley’s face turned white at that thought and even The Joker turned his attention fully back to the doctor, “Okay we’ll stop, but you’re not gonna let the kid die, Surly you can do something if it got that serious” The Joker told him sternly while pointing a finger in his direction.  
After working for The Joker for a while now, the doctor was used to his temper so he wasn’t fussed when he made a scene. “If the little one did get that stressed, Miss Quinn would have to have an emergency C- section, but that is in worst cases, it should not come to that.”  
“That’s not exactly reassuring” Harley breathed as she grabbed The Jokers sleeve.  
“It’s better than letting the child die Miss Quinn” the doctor added as he began applying his gloves,  
“What is a C-section?” The Joker then asked as he tilted his head,  
“It’s when the baby has to be cut out of my stomach, puddin” Harley answered bitterly. The Jokers eyes widened, and he was about to respond when the doctor positioned himself at the end of the bed. “Now, I’m going to have to ask you to open your legs now Miss Quinn, I just need to check your dilation.” Harley did as requested, as The Joker quickly pulled away from Harley’s grip and moved to avoid seeing the examination. 

“You’re not quite there yet my dear, we’ll have to wait a while” the doctor finally announced as he stood up. He then pulled his surgical gloves off and pulled out a heart monitor from his bag, before attaching it to Harley’s stomach.  
“How long” The Joker asked,  
“It’s Hard to say, it all depends on the baby, why don’t you try to calm down the little one while you wait,” the doctor then left the room to retrieve more equipment. 

There was a brief silence for a minute as The Joker continued to watch his girlfriend breath heavily from where he stood, until she looked away from her stomach and up at him with a glare. “Not only did you get me pregnant but you also made me go into labour!” she shrieked as she continued to groan in pain, “now get your ass down here!” The Joker obviously wanted to protest and make his case but he didn’t think it was worth it, for once he did what she asked and sat down beside her. He then found himself then being pulled back until he was lying down; he quickly adjusted himself to become more comfortable and put one arm around her shoulder, and the other on her stomach as he then began to move it in a circular motion.


	8. Agony

Over the next few hours the baby was still taking it’s time, Harley’s pain was increasing more and more after each contraction she experienced, which were getting much closer, the doctor was keeping track of the time between each one, while checking regularly how close the baby was. The Joker was alternating between being next to Harley, trying to comfort her to the best of his ability, and preparing the baby’s cot. It was just a simple wooden frame when The Joker found it in an old warehouse back during the first trimester, he had placed it in the corner of the bedroom next to the window, given it a brand new mattress with a white sheet over the top, and he even fashioned a mobile, made from coat hangers with a variety of colourful objects he got from his attractions hanging from it. He was now adding blankets and other finishing touches using a mixture of green’s, purple’s and red’s, he was keeping it very gender neutral. 

While The Joker was busying himself, he quickly realised that it was now officially April fool’s day, He instantly began smiling to himself at the fact that his own child was going to be born on this specific day. It has always been his favourite day of the year and he always did something spectacular, but this time around it was a little different. In fact, this day of the year is probably going to be permanently different to what they’re use to from now on. A year ago he never would have guessed that the next year he was going to become a father; He still was trying to wrap his head around the concept even now. He often wondered what type of father he’ll be; he didn’t exactly have any memories of what his own was like. He knew that he was going to have to control his temper around the kid, that was for sure. He didn’t want to be one of those parents who beat their child. He worried about it sometimes, most normal people end up losing their patience with their kid, so he had no idea how he was going to manage. He wasn’t exactly the best boyfriend, but Harley knows that it isn’t his fault; he doesn’t know how to function the same way as everyone else. Not everyone would be willing to kick out their girlfriend when they annoy them, or be willing to push them out the window for that matter. But he did care for her, a lot more then he led on. 

He was stunned by how well he’d done at keeping his cool during the pregnancy, but what confused him He most, was that he hadn’t been freaking out as much as he thought he would have during it. He found himself knowing more about what to expect and do in the situation then he should have, you would have thought that he’d been in the situation before. 

Suddenly Harley let out another cry of pain, jolting The Joker from his thoughts in the corner and dashing to her side. “Oh god, I think it’s coming!” she cried in panic. The doctor then got up from his seat where he had been writing down notes in his book to check once more.  
“Oh my I think you’re right my dear, this baby seems ready to make an appearance!” the doctor announced afterwards, he then started to prepare himself by applying a clean pair of gloves and grabbing the equipment he would need. Harley instantly sighed in relief as she then adjusted herself slightly.  
“What, already?!” The Joker panicked,  
“Are you kidding me, J!?” she shouted up at him before wincing in pain. “I’ve been in labour for hours now, I’m more than ready to get this kid out of me!”  
“Yeah I get that, but it’s not like it’s going to get any easier once it’s out”  
“I don’t care!”  
“Miss Quinn, are you ready?” the doctor interrupted as he positioned himself at the end of the bed, she just nodded in response and clenched The Jokers hand as he reluctantly sat down on the bed next to her. “Now don’t push until I say, okay?”  
“Okay” she answered fearfully,  
“Now.” 

Harley then began pushing as hard as she could, she instantly screamed in agony and stopped to breathe “holy crap, that hurt a lot more then I was expecting” she gasped.  
“Well done my dear, that was a good first push” The doctors told her, “now again.”  
she pushed again for as long as she could, emitting another cry of pain. “I can’t do this, can’t we just adopt!?”  
“I think it’s a bit late for that Harley, come on you can do it” The Joker encouraged with a chuckle. She took a deep breath, and then gave another big push which felt like it lasted at least ten seconds, but in fact she had only pushed for about three or four. She could feel the baby beginning to appear and the pain shot through her pelvis, which caused her to shriek and stop once again. The Joker winced from the ear ache she was now giving him, and covered one of them with the hand that wasn’t being used as a stress ball. “Geez Harley, I’ll need a pair of ear muffs at this rate!”  
“This is your fault, you ass!” she bellowed in his face as she gripped his hand tighter, “Now shut up before I give you something to really complain about!”  
“You already are” he retorted, “It’s coming out of you right now.” 

“The baby’s almost crowning my dear” the doctor announced, trying to distract the couple. Harley just continued to groan with pain as she then bit down and pushed again for longer this time, The Joker then began wiping her face with a damp cloth as she went bright red. She was practically seeing stars at this point, and it felt like her head was going to explode. The doctor then grabbed a white baby bulb from next to him, “well done Miss Quinn, your baby is now crowning!”  
Harley rested her head on the head board again as she let out more pain-filled sounds, The Joker could feel her pulse in the death grip she had on his hand. “Harley, the sooner you do this, the sooner you will feel better, you’re just delaying the inevitable.” She opened her eyes which were filling with tears and looked up at The Joker as he spoke, she was about to say something but she had another contraction which forced her to go ridged again, and push hard while screaming.

“Your baby is almost here Miss Quinn.” Harley didn’t respond, she just continued to breath heavily as she moaned and began shaking. The Joker leaned in close to her face, “come on Harl, this has been your dream for so long and it’s about to come true, you never shut up about it, remember?” Harley just nodded weakly while her eyes were closed, “exactly, now come on, I know you can do it” The Joker encouraged once again before kissing her cheek. 

She looked into his eyes and he kissed her passionately before another contraction caused her to push again, ignoring the agonising pain which was spreading throughout her entire body until she had to stop to catch her breath. “God this is so much worse than how I imagined” she groaned deeply.  
“At lease we are only having one, my sweet” The Joker added with a chuckle and a sly grin.  
She then looked up into his eyes once more, “Puddin?”  
He then leaned in close, “yeah?”  
“Tell me you love me” she croaked,  
“Harley,” he muttered pitifully. Her head was pounding and her body felt like it was going to snap in two, as she awaited his response. “I love you” he whispered into her ear, she smiled happily at his confession then suddenly another contraction came. With what little energy she had left, she scrunched up her face and pushed with all her might. Clenching both the bed sheets and The Jokers hand until the pain miraculously stopped. It was then followed by a very, very strong cry as she opened her eyes, they then both looked over to the doctor as he then lifted up their child so they could see.


	9. Crying

“It’s a girl!” the doctor announced enthusiastically, as the small being squirmed and flailed in his hold, the couple could not believe their eyes when they saw their baby. The crying infant did not look like most; the child had chalk white skin and a head of bright green hair. “She’s beautiful!” Harley squeaked with a huge smile plastered on her face. “Oh my god!” The Joker gasped in a deep voice, after all this time he had to prepare for this moment; he never once thought the child would come out with his same unique features. 

The doctor then laid the screaming child back down on the bed as Harley began crying tears of joy, “Mr Joker, would you like to cut the cord?” The Joker did not respond, he just continued to stare with his mouth open. “Mr Joker?” he repeated, looking over to him. It was then that The Jokers eyes suddenly rolled to back of his head, and he fell off the bed and flat on the floor with a thud. “Or not?” the doctor added as he then proceeded to do it himself.  
“Puddin?!” Harley yelled as she carefully peered over the side of the bed at him, “I’ve never seen him do that before.”  
“Oh don’t worry my dear that happens all the time,” the doctor reassured her without taking his eyes off the crying baby, which he was now cleaning off with a towel at the end of the bed. 

Harley then grabbed the glass of water from one of the bedside tables and poured it onto The Jokers face; he suddenly jolted from his unconscious state and jump to his feet, “huh? What just happened?” He panicked.  
“You passed out pud” she answered with a hint of concern, The Joker then wiped the water from his face with his hand and sat back down on the bed and tried to regain himself. He then noticed the child, which had now stopped crying and was being carried over in a thick white towel towards them, and handed to Harley. “Congratulations, she seems perfectly healthy” 

Her eyes started to well up again as she looked at her baby, she then placed a soft kiss on her forehead as the baby began to gurgle. “Hey sweetie” she cooed, “she really does look like you, Puddin.” After a few minutes of Harley being in a world of her own, adoring her child, she then looked up at The Joker and noticed he was fixated on the small green haired baby from where he sat in silence, with wide eyes. She quickly looked between the two of them; “Here ya go” she insisted happily, knocking him from his trance as she placed the baby carefully in his arms before he had a chance to refuse. “Hey, wait, what?” he stuttered, as he instinctively accepted the creature and adjusted her so he was holder her comfortably. 

After taking the small fragile being he momentarily froze, he had never held a baby before and he never thought he would, but here he was; holding his own. She then opened her eyes to reveal bright blue orbs, just like Harley’s. They then just stared at each other in silence for the longest time. He could not stop studying her features, he had expected the child to look normal; fair skin and either blond or brown hair, which he assumed was his natural hair colour before his accident, so the fact that she looked like him now was not seen coming at all. 

“What shell we name her” Harley then asked as she broke the silence, he looked at her briefly with confusion “you want me to pick?”  
“Well, you’re really good at naming things and she doesn’t suit the name I had in mind.”  
“And what name is that?” he asked with interest,  
“I was thinking Lucy” she smiled,  
The Joker instantly turned up his nose in disgust, “how positively boring.” Harley started to chuckle at his response, “and you’re right, it wouldn’t work for her”  
“Exactly, so you pick.”  
The Joker continued to stare at his child in thought, who was still dribbling to herself. “I know exactly what we’re going to call her” he started, “she was born on April fool’s day; I’m going to call her April, and we could call her Aprilfool as a nickname” he beamed.  
Harley grinned at him happily “That’s perfect!”

The doctor, who had been cleaning up, then proceeded to fill out the birth certificate on his clipboard, “what shell I list for the last name?”  
The couple shared looks, “why don’t we combine them?” Harley then suggested happily,  
“Combine what? I don’t exactly have a last name” The Joker asked  
“Yeah, but ‘Joker’ works as both for you,”  
“Are you telling me you want to her to be called ‘April Joker Quinn?” he then paused for a moment, thinking over the name “because if so, I’m okay with that” He smiled.  
“See, it’s got a good ring to it.”

The Doctor then continued to fill in the form, “do you wish to give her a middle name?” he asked. The Joker looked at Harley to signify that she could decide, so she then paused for a second to think, “Jayjay” she finally answered cheerfully, “spelt J-A-Y-J-A-Y.” Joker simply stared at Harley with one eyebrow raised, “What? I like the way it sounds,” she spoke in defence as he just rolled his eyes.  
The doctor then resumed his writing, “So her name is April Jaya Joker Quinn?”  
“Sounds good to me,” The Joker commented as he then smiled down at his daughter, while Harley nodded enthusiastically.

Once the doctor had finished filling out the form, he quickly left the room to give them some alone time. The Joker quickly noticed that the child had now began to fidget slightly in his arms “Oh no,” He grumbled as she then started to whimper. The Joker quickly held her out to Harley, “here you can have her back now” he insisted, “she probably wants feeding and you’re practically a walking milkshake to her.” Harley just frowned at him once she took the baby into her arms as her noises had progressed into a cry, “don’t look at me like that, you can’t say I’m wrong” he defended. She then shook her head before pulling down the strap of her night gown to breast feed, which the baby instantly took to. 

Now that we have a moment” Harley began after a short pause, “can you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me these past few weeks?”  
The Joker exhaled heavily, “Harley it’s like three in the morning, I don’t want to talk about stuff now” he moaned, “plus you literally just gave birth so you need to rest.”  
“If you hadn’t of avoided me, I wouldn’t have been freaking out about stuff and April wouldn’t have come early!” she told him accusingly “so start talking,”  
The Joker turned his head away and huffed “fine, I was fed up and I didn’t want to lash out at you, are you happy?”  
Her expression softened slightly, “is that it?”  
“What were you expecting?” he asked, as he stood and pulled up a wooden chair from the side of the room and sat himself in it, “I was so close to smacking you on several occasions, but I didn’t want to, so I guessed it was best if I kept my distance.” 

Harley looked down at her daughter briefly to see her still feeding before returning her gaze to The Joker, “Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Are you kidding me? Anything set you off, I didn’t see the point.” Harley sighed as The Joker spoke again in a softer tone “anyway, what stuff were you freaking out over?”  
“Oh, just stuff about the baby” she muttered, as she looked down at said person.  
The Joker crossed his legs as if speaking as her therapist, “Like what?”  
“Oh you know, normal stuff” she began, looking back at him “like what if someone kidnaps her?”  
The Joker leant on the arm of the chair in thought. “hmm, I don’t think anyone wants that kind of trouble to be honest Harley, I mean who would be crazy or suicidal enough to steal our kid?”  
“Fair enough,” Harley spoke slowly. “but what if she gets hurt, and what if she doesn’t want to be like us when she’s older?” Harley then quickly added in a panicked voice,  
“Harley, calm down” The Joker laughed, “we’ll deal with that stuff when the time comes, don’t worry.” 

At this point, April seemed to have finished so Harley pulled her strap back up her shoulder, before stroking her child’s soft face as she looked up at her mother. Harley then looked over to The Joker who was watching April too, and smiled lovingly at him. “thank you, Puddin”  
He drew his eyes away from his child and gave her quizzical look, “For what?”  
“For putting up with me and admitting that you love me” she smiled,  
He returned her smile as he then stood up and kissed her on the forehead, “You’re welcome.”


	10. Settling

After the birth of April, the couple didn’t get to go to bed until five in the morning. The Joke and Dr Wilson had to clean up the room and sort out the mattress which was covered in all sorts of bodily fluid, while Harley had been moved to sitting in the chair and April was placed in her cot. Their sleep unfortunately didn’t last long though; they were soon woken up by the baby who needing to either be fed or changed for the remainder of the night. It was already starting to take a toll on The Joker, and it hadn’t even been three hours yet. Every time she cried he would often put his pillow over his head, or cover himself completely by the sheets to drown out the noise, and this was always accompanied by a lot of displeased grunts. Harley would mainly be the one who got up to tend to the baby, despite her pain, The Joker however only did it once or twice. 

The Joker groaned as he was once again awoken from his sleep to the sound of April’s very loud, ear deafening cry. He reluctantly opened his eyes to the harsh light coming through the curtains, before peering at the clock on his nightstand which read eight in the morning. ‘I should have just gotten a vasectomy,’ he murmured to himself. He nudged Harley several times with his elbow in hopes that she would deal with her but got no response, as she was still sleeping deeply. He groaned again as he rolled out of the warm bed, and sluggishly made his way towards the cot. He never read any of Harley’s baby books, much to her dismay so he was just winging all of his parenting skills; He began making a series of shushing noises as he lent over her, which surprising didn’t work as her cries grew louder. He huffed aloud and tried to shush the infant again and place his index finger over her mouth, but she still continued to cry and squirm.

“ugh!” he grumbled as he threw his head back, before carefully scooping up the screaming infant and gave her a smell to see if she just needed to be changed, but she just smelt of ‘new baby’ and talcum powder. Because she was premature, the doctor had advised that Harley breast feed her for the first six months at least, so The Joker then carried the still crying child round to Harley’s side of the bed. He began prodding her with his free hand as she let out a low moan, “Harley wake up, this thing is hungry” he demanded. She carefully rolled over and slowly sat up with a yawn, before taking the baby into her arms and pulled down her red strap in order to breast feed. This silenced the child immediately, as Harley held her small pale hand in hers. “Puddin, don’t call the baby a ‘thing’” she told him sleepily as he turned and headed to the bathroom, while muttering angrily to himself.

After the baby had been fed and returned to her cot to get more sleep, Harley did the exact same thing. The Joker however, took this opportunity to change, have some coffee and think about what he was going to do to celebrate April fool’s day. He obviously did have plans but weather he found them or not, he was going to have to make a few changes because his child came early, so he went into his study to continue looking for his missing blueprints. After still not being able to recover them in the piles of paperwork he had surrounding the room, he then decided to think up some more as he slumped down into his wooden desk chair. Just as he began writing down some ideas, he was interrupted by small, whimpering noises coming from the bedroom. He exhaled heavily while dropping his head onto the surface of his desk in frustration, before getting up to investigate the sounds. By the time he got to the room, April had started crying again which then succeeded in waking up Harley this time, who had begun stirring. 

She rolled over to see it was now nine in the morning, The Joker was picking up the baby and beginning to bounce her up and down in an attempt to calm her, “now you stink” he muttered as he turned up his nose in disgust. Harley sat up in bed and began to rub her eyes “Hey puddin” she croaked, her voice had become very husky due to all the screaming she had been doing in the night.  
“Hey” The Joker responded tiredly, as he bent down and grabbed the blue changing mat from the floor and put it on the end of the bed, “do you want to change her?” he asked,  
“She looked up at him with puppy dog eyes “Can you do it? I have been up more than you this morning.”  
The Joker glared at her for a second before sighing “fine,” Harley gave him a soft smile as he gently laid the infant down on the mat,  
“thank you puddin.” 

She slowly got up from the bed while making a few pain filled sounds, kissed him on the cheek and made her way towards the door, “I’m gonna go take a shower, okay?”  
“Yeah that might be a good idea” The Joker responded sarcastically as she left the room, he then began to try and undress the baby who fidgeted and squirmed. “Maybe I should have practised on dolls before you came, like Harley” he spoke with slight agitation, “I mean it’s not like I haven’t already dressed you back to front” he added with a chuckle.

It took Harley longer than usual to have a shower due to having just given birth, but when she was finished, she could only be bothered to put on a plain black nightdress and underwear before making her way towards the stairs. When she slowly began descending them, she noticed The Joker was casually leaning against the door frame of the living room, watching her. “Do you need a hand?” he asked simply, with little to no sympathy in his voice, “why don’t you just stay upstairs?” he asked again as she continued to walk down them while making small uncomfortable noises.  
“I’m not an invalid” she told him sternly as she kept a firm grasp on the banister,  
“No, but you did just push a human being out of your pelvis less than ten hours ago, I’m pretty sure that warrants a day in bed” he stated. Harley just ignored him as she continued to go down, still struggling and clearly in pain. The Joker stood up straight and walked over towards the bottom of the stairs, “Harley you’re going to overwork yourself, if you don’t go back upstairs I’ll drag you there myself!” She then stopped and looked down at him, wondering if he was being serious as he glared at her intensely. She huffed in defeat, before turning around and trying to go back up as he watched. The Joker growled angrily as she struggled to climb the stairs to the point she was beginning to shake, he then stormed up them and proceeded to help her,  
“Hey!” she protested, “I don’t need any-,”  
“Shut up!” he interrupted through gritted teeth, as he held onto her upper arm.

When she reached the landing, The Joker swiftly growled again and returned back downstairs towards the living room, as Harley turned and watched him go. Once he was out of site, she smiled to herself, this was something people never understood about The Joker; he did care, he tries to not show it and give excuses for his actions, but Harley knows him all too well. She then slowly made her way back inside the bedroom to rest, when she reached the room she even noticed that April wasn’t in her cot, meaning that The Joker had her with him so she wouldn’t disturb Harley too much.


	11. Laughs and tears

Three months had now passed since April was born, and Harley and The Joker were starting to get the hang of being parents, although The Joker still wasn’t keen on the getting up in the middle of the night part as he would often still make Harley do it. April had begun to move a whole lot more. Instead of just flailing her limbs around aimlessly, she could now kick and reach out for things. She could also now smile and laugh, which pleased her father beyond belief. Once she developed these skills she barely ever stopped using them. She would smile and laugh at almost everything, from being changed to watching something fall over. As soon as The Joker noticed this, he always took advantage of it as he would often try new and fun ways to make her laugh. One of his favourite times was when he set up some domino's on the floor and let her watch as they all tumbled over one by one; She instantly began laughing hysterically and bobbed up and down in her father’s hold, He honestly could not stop himself from joining in on the laughter, as her laugh was so contagious. 

Harley had started helping The Joker out with organising jobs again, but she still wasn’t able to join in on the fun because someone had to watch the baby, and they didn’t think it was time to introduce her to anyone they knew just yet. 

Despite the laughs he got from his daughter, The Joker had found the past few months particularly challenging. After about a week since the birth, The Joker had caught Harley crying in the bedroom under the bed sheets, as the infant wailed in her cot. He didn’t think much of it at first as he was use to how over emotional she was as a person, but once she still continued to have these outbreaks when she thought he couldn’t hear her; He decided to do an experiment and pretended to leave the house one time. He had told her that he was going out to a meeting once April had begun to cry, and Harley was in the room with her, reading at the time. As soon as he opened and closed the front door with him still inside, he heard Harley scream out in frustration after a few minutes and began shouting at April to stop crying, while she herself began to cry as well. The Joker obviously didn’t take what he just heard lightly, as he immediately belted up the stairs with heavy steps to intervene, much to Harley’s surprise and absolute horror. 

He wasn’t happy at all as she wanted the kid in the first place, and now she was getting angry at it. The fact that she had always nagged The Joker about having a child and as soon as she gets one, she finds that she can’t handle the responsibility, and she decides to shout at her when The Joker wasn’t around made him all the more mad. He had quickly picked up the baby, who was still crying and left Harley alone to calm down, before phoning up the doctor to ask if her having this level of emotional breakdowns were normal. The doctor informed him that she must have post natal depression, and that it can be harmless but it could also become very serious if not handled correctly, as Harley could be driven to the point where she lashes out at April physically.

The Joker was advised to not leave Harley alone with the baby, so he found himself being stuck babysitting Harley when she cared for the child. This meant that The Joker wasn’t able to go out anywhere, unless he was completely certain that the baby was safe with her mother. He did find it humours that before she was born they were both worried about The Joker lashing out at her, but instead it’s the other way around. 

 

“Will you hold still for just a few seconds” The Joker requested with slight agitation. He was attempting to change his daughter’s clothes due to her having just puked all down herself. Instead of obeying, she just continued to kick her little pale legs and giggle at him on her changing mat, which was laid out on the floor at the end of the bed. “If you’re going to throw up then at least aim for your mother, that way we don’t have to go through this.”  
“I can hear you ya know” Harley called from the hallway. The Joker looked up from the baby towards the direction of the voice, “I thought you were downstairs?” he asked playfully,  
“I came up to get a clean towel for when April next decides to throw up,”  
“Good idea” he chirped. He had managed to get the puke covered purple onesie off of the child, and was now trying to get her legs through the new one which was a light green colour.

“How is it going in there?” Harley called again as she closed the cupboard,  
“Like a dream” he responded sarcastically, “hey, give me that arm back!” Harley just chuckled at the sound of him trying to wrestle with the baby as she laughed at him, before shaking her head and going back downstairs.

Later on that day Harley and The Joker were sat in the living room on a quiet afternoon. Harley was casually breast feeding April on the sofa, while The Joker was trying to read the paper sat next to her but was finding it hard to keep his eyes focused, as they kept drifting off to Harley.  
“Do you know how distracting that is, Harl?” The Joker finally spoke, dropping his paper from his face as he broke the silence.  
“Which part?” she asked looking up at him from her daughter who was happily suckling, “the fact that it looks weird or the fact that I’ve got my breast out?”  
The Joker paused for a second “both, because one; you do have decent breasts, but two; the fact that you’ve just got a tiny face sucking on them is just a little odd to me” He told her, “it’s like she’s a vampire who can’t reach your neck, so she’s settling for the round floppy thing in her face.” "You do know that's what they're meant for right?" “Yes I know that” he defended in annoyance, “It’s just not often seen.”  
Haley then drifted off for a second in thought as she tilted her head, “I wonder if bulls find cows udders attractive.”

Now it was The Jokers turn to look confused as he just blinked at her rapidly, He opened his mouth to say something but then quickly closed it, “…Okay, that’s enough family time for one day” he finally spoke, as he quickly stood up to leave for the kitchen with his paper in hand as she continued to mull over her question.

Harley continued to sit there until she had finished nursing April, she then fixed her bra back in place and pulled her red top down, before lying April against her shoulder and proceeded to burp her. “Hey puddin” Harley called from her place on the sofa, as she readjusted the baby so she was lying back in her arms.  
“What do you want?” he responded dryly,  
“Could I introduce April to Ivy, I heard she got out of Arkham?” she asked hesitantly.  
She then heard his footsteps making their way back into the living room heavily, “No you cannot” he answered angrily,  
“But I haven’t seen her since before you got me pregnant, she doesn’t even know about April,”  
He placed his hands on his hips, “so?”  
Harley gave him a pouty look as she cradled the baby, who began playing with her mother’s fingers, “aw come on puddin, you know she won’t tell anyone, she’s my best friend”  
“Yeah and she also hates me”  
“She doesn’t hate you enough to go behind my back and tell people that we had a baby,”  
The Joker folded his arms across his chest, “I’m not convinced.”

Harley looked down at the baby and began to think, before returning her gaze to The Joker, “how about if she comes here, so not to risk anyone else seeing April?” The Jokers stance didn’t change, “Please pud” Harley asked again in a high voice with puppy dog eyes, “If I get back in touch with Ivy then I could go to hers for the day if I need a break from the baby.”  
“Ugh, fine but only her,” The Joker sighed as he threw his arms in the air in defeat. “Thank you puddin” Harley said softly, as she carefully stood up and kissed him tenderly on the lips, which he reluctantly accepted before leaving the room to go to his study. Harley then looked down at her baby who was now dosing off against her chest; she began pondering whether or not The Jokers possessive behaviour towards April was because he was worried for her well-being, or if he was worried about his reputation.


	12. Company

The next day; Harley had arranged for Ivy to come over. She had obviously tried to convince Harley over the phone to go to hers instead so she didn’t have to see The Joker, but Harley’s persistence got the better of her. Her excuse was that she didn’t feel like leaving the house, although it wasn’t to convincing as she sounded just as hyper as she always did. 

The Joker was busying himself with his work in his study, April was in the bedroom sleeping, and Harley was cleaning up their home and hiding all the baby paraphernalia so Ivy wouldn’t instantly find out as she wanted to surprise her. Just as Harley was finishing off tidying the kitchen, the doorbell rang, “she’s here!” Harley shrieked with excitement as she then sprinted towards the front door like a dog.  
“Hey girl, long time, no see” the plant-like woman greeted with a smile.  
Harley quickly pulled her in and hugged her tight, “It’s been so long, I’ve missed you since you’ve been stuck in Arkham,”  
“Yeah and thanks for breaking me out, by the way” Ivy responded sarcastically, as she pulled away from Harley’s embrace and entered the home.  
“Well I’ve been… a little busy lately” Harley replied happily as she closed the large metal door, while trying to hold in her excitement.

Ivy turned to Harley at her response after taking in her surroundings, “Oh have you now?” Ivy asked as she placed a hand on her hip, Harley just ignored her friend’s sarcasm as she rolled her eyes, and dragged her into the living room to sit down. “Can I get you anything?” Harley asked eagerly with her hands clasped together, once her friend was seated. Ivy didn’t respond, she just looked around the colourful room while sniffing at the air, “there’s a strange smell in here,” she drew out slowly with suspicion  
“Is there?” Harley replied innocently as she sat down next to her, Ivy raised a brow at her and continued to deduce what the smell was.  
“Your place usually smells of cigars, gun powder and candy floss, It currently smells like” she sniffed again, “talcum powder” she then turned to Harley, waiting for an explanation.

Harley began to fiddle with the hem of her black top, which Ivy took notice of, “Oh… I bought some earlier and it spilled on the floor, that’s all” she smiled innocently again.  
“Why did you have powder in this room” Ivy interrogated slowly,  
Harley’s eyes began to shift “…um, I wasn’t, the smell has just travelled to this room” she grinned.  
Ivy wasn’t buying any of it, she folded her arms across her chest and raised her brow again “What are you hiding?”  
“Hiding? I’m not hiding anything” Harley defended,  
Ivy continued to look in suspicion “Harley, you are a terrible liar,”  
“Not true,”  
“Yes it is Harl,” She stated bluntly.

Harley was trying to hide her giggles from her friend but of cause, she still wasn’t buying it; she just continued to sit in front of her with her arms folded, waiting patiently.  
“Okay maybe I am, but it wouldn’t have been a surprise if I told you now would it?” Harley finally admitted in defeat.  
Ivy just rolled her eyes as she leaned back on the sofa, “so where’s the clown?”  
“Mistah J is upstairs, working”  
“Right” she responded slowly as her eyes drifted to the cracked ceiling, “so what is this surprise of yours?” Ivy then asked curiously.

“Well-,” Harley began but she was instantly cut off by the sound of the baby beginning to cry upstairs, Ivy instantly sat up straight and her eyes darted towards the door, followed by the sound of The Jokers footsteps moving across the landing. Her eyes started to shift as she thought about all the possible reasons for hearing the cry of clearly a new born child, in the Home of Harley and The Joker. After coming to a conclusion, she then turned to her friend in utter disbelief, “you have got to be kidding me.”  
“Surprise” Harley responded fearfully, as she performed small jazz hand gestures.  
“You haven’t? Please tell me it’s not what I think it is” Ivy pleaded desperately, Harley just gave her a guilty smile and shrugged slightly.

This answered Ivy’s question, “Oh god” she pleaded again with a groan as she palmed her face hard, “why Harley, Why?!” Harley new that her friend would react this way so she just sat there awkwardly, “Why would do such a thing, with that sick clown no less?!”  
“Happy accident” Harley shrugged again.

Their attention was then drawn to the door, as The Jokers footsteps could be heard approaching with the accompanied sound of gurgling. Ivy’s jaw dropped at the sight of The Joker entering the room, holding the child in question which looked nothing like expected. She was happily snuggled against his chest, wearing a purple and black stripped onesey. “Hello there, plant” he greeted with a smug grin, before walking over and handing the baby to Harley, while Ivy just stared at the child, speechless.

“Ivy, I’d like you to meet April” Harley grinned as she caressed the baby’s cheek, as she looked over at the new person in front of her.  
“April?” Ivy started with a disbelieved chuckle “I bet The Joker picked that,”  
“Maybe” the Joker answered innocently, “She was born on April fool’s day, how could I not call her that” he continued, as he lent against the door frame.  
“Oh, I bet you loved that?” Ivy scoffed,  
“well, now that you mention it, her birth did kinda interfere with my plans for that day"  
“Oh no, what a shame!” she mocked, as she placed a hand over her chest in fake empathy.  
“Guys!” Harley interjected, before Joker could retort as he scowled at the woman, “now is not the time.”  
Ivy sighed, “Well to be honest, I’m not surprised that The Joker got you pregnant,” She began as she casually lent on the armrest, “I’m more surprised that you kept it” she admitted dryly.

Harley and The Joker sheared looks before returning their attention back to Ivy, “Why isn’t it surprising?” Harley then asked,  
“You know why; the more you do it, the higher the chances are of ending up with a kid, and I’m sure you two always did it a lot” Ivy stated matter of factly. The Joker chuckled to himself as Harley just stared at her friend, shocked by her words.  
“What makes you think we had fun that often?” The Joker laughed, “I’ve got more important things to do with my time.”  
Harley’s attention left her friend and snapped straight to The Joker with a glare, “Hey!”  
“What?” he said defensively, “you know as well as I do, that I’m very busy and I don’t always have time to play,”  
“Yeah, but you don’t have to be so mean” Harley pouted,  
“It just gets on my nerves how you’re always trying to seduce me whenever I’m doing something important” he told her firmly,  
“Well, why can’t that thing you’re doing be me!?” Harley shrieked angrily, April fidgeted suddenly at the outburst, causing Harley to bounce her unconsciously. 

Ivy stared at Harley, baffled as The Joker instantly burst out laughing, which distracted the baby from making more of a fuss as she looked over at him and giggled happily. Ivy’s eyes then went to the child with the same expression, “great, now there’s two of them” she muttered while rolling her eyes. Harley smiled down at the baby proudly as The Joker then regained his composure,  
“Anyway” The Joker began, after a few extra giggles as he became more serious, “you should be grateful that I prefer your mind over your body, now I’m going to go back to what I was doing upstairs, before things get too awkward,” The Joker told her before he turned and left the room, leaving them without words to his statement. 

“Interesting,” Ivy commented once he was gone. “Anyway, how did you convince him to let you keep her?”  
“I didn’t have to convince him” Harley replied nonchalantly, after she had finished staring at the door, with a smile creeping on her face as she began to rock her child,  
“What do you mean?”  
As she told Ivy the whole story April had managed to doze off, and when Harley had gotten Ivy all up to date she just looked at her in shock, “well, you’ve had quite the experience, haven’t you?” Ivy admitted, “I know” Harley sighed, “but I can’t help but find the way he deals with the baby rather fascinating.”  
Ivy tilted her head in confusion, “how so?”  
“Before she was born, I always thought that he would complain constantly about her and hate interacting with her, considering how much he hated me being pregnant, but the funny thing is he doesn’t, I mean he does complain, but not nearly as much as I expected,”  
“Good, he doesn’t have the right to complain” Ivy commented angrily with a nod of the head.  
“Go easy on him Pam, He’s been under a lot pressure lately due to my Post natal depression,”  
“You’ve got post natal depression?” Ivy asked with concern “Huh, I must say I wasn’t expecting that one”  
“Yeah, it’s been really hard” she confessed sadly, “The Joker has been looking after her more than me believe it or not, I couldn’t be left alone with her in case I did something stupid.” 

Ivy then noticed that Harley was starting to tear up, “Harley are you okay?” She asked sympathetically while placing a hand on her shoulder,  
Harley looked down at her baby with tears in her eyes, who had just woken up and was now looking around the room, completely oblivious to the world around her. “I’m not a very good mother Ivy, I can’t even look after my own baby” she sobbed.  
Her friend shuffled closer and put her arm around her in an attempt to console her fully, “come on Harley, it’s okay, it’s not your fault and I’m sure you’re not a bad mother,”  
“Yes it is!” Harley sobbed again, “not to mention my life is never gonna be the same again!” she rested her head against the now confused child who began to squirm, while her mother started to hug her as if she was a teddy bear, “I feel so trapped.”

“It’s normal to feel this way shortly after giving birth, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” Ivy soothed as she continued to try and make her friend feel better, while she used her child’s head as a tissue. “Shell I Hold her?” she then asked after a brief pause, Harley silently nodded and carefully handed the baby over. April just stared up at the woman who was also staring at her, “Poor thing, she looks just like her dad,” Ivy cooed before looking back over to Harley who continued to sob, but this time into her hands. April quickly began to squirm uncomfortably again in her hold. She didn’t seem too keen on the stranger in front of her, or the strange noises her mother was making. Ivy sighed, contemplating what to do at this point as she turned her head towards the door; “I can’t believe I’m doing this” she muttered. “Joker!” after a minute, she finally heard heavy footsteps making their way downstairs and towards the room. She had never been in need of The Jokers help before, and to find herself calling out to him made her physically shudder.

“What do you wan-“ The Joker stopped dead, and just stood in the doorway to find Harley crying away into her hands, while a distressed Ivy held a fidgeting baby which was about to start crying Herself. He sighed heavily, before walking over towards Ivy and taking the child into his arms. “Could you sort her out?” he asked simply, gesturing towards Harley before reaching into his pocket to grab a dummy, He then proceeded to shove it into the baby’s mouth to stop her from crying, which it instantly did. “I can handle this one” he said while gesturing to the infant, “but unfortunately, you can’t silence Harley by shoving something in her mouth, believe me I’ve tried.” 

The Joker then paused and evaluated what he just said, as Ivy looked up at him disgusted, “a dummy that is, or food, nothing else” he defended quickly, “get your mind out of the gutter!”  
Ivy gave him a hard look, “have you ever thought about; oh I don’t know, comforting her? It’s your fault she's in this mess in the first place,”  
“Ugh!” he groaned while rolling his head back, “One; she choose to keep this thing, and two; I have tried but I’ve got enough to deal with,”  
“Yeah right” Ivy scoffed.  
“Guys please don’t argue, and Puddin please stop calling April a thing” Harley chocked up as she lifted her head from her tear covered hands.  
The Joker just huffed and bounced April up and down while she continued to squirm, before leaving the room with her.  
“I think he has a little soft spot for his baby girl” Ivy smirked evilly as he went,  
“You have to keep all this between us, okay?” Harley then asked as she finally grabbed a tissue from the coffee table, Ivy looked at her friend with a bored expression, “Let me guess, you want to keep her a secret?”  
“Yes, so please don’t tell anyone” Harley continued to beg while wiping away her tears,  
“Fine, your secret is safe with me.”


	13. Movement

April was now six months old, and she had started to learn how to move along the floor. Her parents often found it very amusing as her method made it look like she was swimming. She couldn’t quite push her body off the ground yet, instead she shuffled her limbs up and down to put herself into motion. The Joker still did his usual thing; make plans for annoying the Batman and going out to achieve them, while Harley stayed at home to look after April. The Joker couldn’t allow himself to go completely off the radar by staying home to make sure Harley didn’t get angry with the baby, doing that would look too suspicious. But he also couldn’t really allow himself to get captured either, Harley would likely try to skin him alive. 

The Joker continued to surprise Harley when It came to April because he always seemed to make time for her, he often would sit down on the floor and play with her and her educational toys, although she just mainly liked to suck on them. He would watch TV with her in his arms, and he would even have her with him in his study sometimes while telling her about his plans to help her fall asleep. Harley put a lot of it down to how much she looked like him; it was something they both had in common. Although she had Harley’s big blue eyes and face shape; she had a pointed nose, huge smile and it was obvious that she would have defined cheek bones, although they weren’t quite visible yet.

The Joker and Harley had also now organised a room for her, which use to be one of their storage rooms. The walls were painted green, with black and red hearts, diamonds, spades and clubs painted along the bottom and the top of the walls. They had gone out there way to get the floor carpeted purple, with matching curtains. Her cot had a purple frame and a white mattress, with green blankets. The Joker had even fashioned her a white teddy bear, with a green tuft of hair, a purple bow tie and a red smile, which she loved; she would always cry if they tried to take it from her.

As soon as she began ‘swimming’ along the floor, she wouldn’t stop and she could get quite far doing so, which led to them having to set up a play pen in the corner of their living room. This was so she wouldn’t go missing like the first time she tried. Harley had gone out shopping, leaving Joker to watch her; she was laying on her front on the floor while sucking on her pastel green blanket. The Joker had left the room for less than five minutes to go to the bathroom, He almost had a heart attack when he returned to find her not where he left her; instead he found her in the kitchen after hearing her playful gurgling sounds.

One evening, while April was asleep in the living room on the sofa between two pillows with her dummy and blanket, Harley was busying herself in the kitchen and starting to get worried. The Joker was meant to be back an hour ago, and it wasn’t like him to be late home. She had tried phoning him but got no answer, she sighed heavily as she put her cell down on the work top and headed for the living room to put April to bed. She hadn’t even left the kitchen when the front door swung open, Harley jumped at the sound and she immediately stuck her head out of the door frame. 

The Joker slowly made his way through the large front door; his suit was ripped apart, his hair was a mess and he was covered in cuts and bruises, Harley gasped and instantly ran towards him.   
“Puddin, what happened!?”  
The Joker looked at her with eyes like daggers “The batman happened!”  
“Oh” She muttered,   
“Oh? Is that all you have to say? Oh!?”  
“Well-“  
The Joker silenced her by holding his hand up, “before I left, didn’t I tell you to put my duffel bag in the car?”   
She gave him a confused look, “I didn’t hear you ask me that, why what happened?”   
The Joker started to walk towards her slowly, causing her to back up.  
“Well my dear, when I came across the batman, I ran to get my duffel bag full of all my important weapons, which I thought was in the car, but no it wasn’t in the car” he started in an unnervingly calm tone, before returning back to anger “so I ended up getting beaten and humiliated at the same time, I barely got out of there!” he spat through gritted teeth.   
“I’m sorry puddin, but I was too busy to put your bag in the car for you, I had my own stuff to do such as tending to our child!” Harley snapped in retort with clenched fists, this reaction just encouraged The Jokers anger which led to them shouting remarks back and forth at each other.

Meanwhile, April was unfortunately within ear shot to hear their argument and she soon began to fidget and squirm, until she began screaming and kicking her small chubby legs as she turned bright red.   
It wasn’t for a few minutes when The Joker finally heard the screaming over his and Harley’s voice. He instinctively pushed her to the side and hurried towards the source of the noise, Harley quickly followed behind once she also heard the crying. The Joker picked up the bawling infant, and began bouncing her up and down in an attempt to calm her.  
“Do you want me to-“  
“No!” the Joker snapped at Harley, as the child’s cries grew louder. Harley just folded her arms and watched as The Joker started walking around the room, shushing the flailing baby as she continued to cry.   
“I think it’s the arguing that’s upsetting her” Harley suggested,   
The Joker looked up at Her puzzled before looking away in thought, “It was us arguing which caused her to come early in the first place” She added. The Joker sighed then headed for the door “fine we won’t argue around the baby, I’m going to put her to bed then clean myself up” he told her firmly.  
“Can you at least let me tend to your wounds?” she asked softly,  
The Joker groaned from the doorway, “If you must.”


	14. Birthday breakfast

April was almost officially 12 months old. She could crawl perfectly well and stand up with something to hold onto, as well as being able to recognise her parents and even tell them apart. Every time Joker came home and entered the room his daughter was in, she would take her attention away from whatever she was doing, and instantly make her way towards him with a big smile on her face while giggling happily. The Joker obviously loved this and would crouch down and pick her up without hesitation, despite his dislike for children and give her a big hug. He was always afraid that once she was born, he would feel the same way towards her as he does with other children, but luckily Harley was right for once. He could not get the convocation that he had with her when she first told him the news out of his head, and he knew that he probably never will. He really did enjoy having April around, she was always throwing something knew at them, sometimes literally. 

Most recently Harley had asked Ivy to start babysitting April on occasions, this was so she could help The Joker on jobs again and so they could have a little break. Ivy was reluctant at first but she eventually came round to it, the only drawback to this was that April would have to have a number of injections to make her immune to Ivy’s toxins. Neither Harley nor Joker was okay with this but it was bound to happen sooner or later, so they decided that they should do it now while she is still very young.

During each injection which had to be done every week, Harley would stand back and look away while The Joker Held his child steady on the table. He always had an angry expression on his face as Ivy was one of the many people he disliked, and she was jabbing needles into his daughter’s limbs as she cried. April wasn’t pleased about being left with Ivy, every time they dropped her off she would cry, squirm and reach her small hands out in her parent’s direction as they walked away. The first time it happened The Joker had to practically drag Harley, and stop her from running back to her.

It was seven in the morning on April fool’s day and Joker and Harley were woken up by the sound of April’s crying, and the sound of her rattling her cot as she did every morning. “Your turn puddin” Harley groaned sleepily from her side of the bed.  
The Joker groaned in a similar sleepy tone and tried to go for as long as possible without having to get up, but unfortunately her cries didn’t ease. “Nothing has changed in a year” he muttered as he got out of his nice warm bed and made his way towards her room sluggishly, in his poka- dotted boxers and a plain white vest. As soon as he grabbed the handle and began to open the door, April instantly silenced. Once the door was fully open she was standing in her cot, holding onto the railings while wearing a red and black stripy onesie, with Einstein-like hair. She smiled big, bobbed up and down and began making happy gurgling noises as her farther approached. “Happy birthday, kiddo” he beamed as he then picked her up. “You stink as usual,” April just smiled at him with her big blue eyes while he carried her over to the corner where her changing station was set up.

He had gotten pretty good at changing her these days as it didn’t take as long as it used to, although he found himself still having to wrestle with her from time to time. Once done, he took her downstairs to give her some breakfast. He plopped her down in her red high chair next to the kitchen table, and headed over to the fridge as she happily kicked her legs and began chewing on her fingers as he did so. He scanned each baby food container, turning his nose up at each one he found. “Mushy peas, cottage pie?” he pulled a disgusted face, “can’t your mother get you baby food that sounds appetising for once?”

He looked around at the other items before settling on a tub of yoghurt and a packet of blueberries. “I’m spoiling you here but hey, it’s your birthday” he told her as he began dumping a load of the ingredients into the blender and setting it to puree. The Joker was suddenly taken off guard by his daughter because she began laughing at the sound it made. He spun round and furrowed his brow at her unexpected behaviour. 

As soon as the blender had finished, she stopped laughing instantly. The Joker chuckled and poured the contents into a bowl with a baby spoon. He walked over towards his daughter and kissed her on the forehead as she continued to smile and now reach for the food he was holding. “I almost regret wanting to kill you” he told her softly before sitting down in front of her to feed her. 

Not long after that, Harley entered the room sleepily, wearing her deep red dressing gown and pink bunny slippers, “morning” she yawned.

“Morning, Harley” The Joker responded cheerfully as he shoved another spoonful into the child’s mouth. Harley walked over and kissed April on the cheek as she happily finished her mouthful, “Happy birthday sweetie.” She then looked over at the bowl which The Joker was holding then back at her child, “what are you feeding her? She certainly likes it.”

“Well, all the options that you bought looked and sounded horrible, so I pureed some yoghurt and blueberries.” Harley just blinked at him, “come on Harl it’s her birthday, let her have something nice” The Joker coaxed as he hovered the spoon in front of the baby. April whined as she tried to reach for it, “Do you want more, sweetums?” Joker teased as he held it just out of her reach. She continued to make grabbing motions with her small hands but was still unsuccessful. Joker suddenly began pulling the spoon further away from her and act as if her was about to eat it instead. April squirmed in her seat and whimpered at his plans, until she was quickly silenced by the spoon which had been shoved back in her mouth. 

Harley continued to look at The Joker in displeasure as he laughed hysterically. But then sighed as she saw how happy her daughter was about the situation; she was licking her lips, kicking her legs, smiling and reaching out for the spoon yet again to signify that she still wanted more. “Okay” Harley admitted in defeat. Harley then walked towards the green counter, “Do you want some coffee, puddin?” she asked as she fiddled with the pot. 

“That would be lovely, my dear” he chirped as he finished giving April her last spoonful. He got to his feet and took the empty bowl toward the dishwasher, while the baby reached out for it and began to whimper. Joker stopped and turned around at her demand, before flipping the bowl upside-down a shaking it. “All gone” he told her in a high tone as she continued to make a series of sad noises. 

He then turned to Harley as she watched with adoration, “you can dress her” he told her bluntly as he then walked back to his daughter and hoisted her out of her chair. She instantly forgot why she was sad and began giggling uncontrollably, as he proceeded to plop her on the floor. “Be free, my little munchkin!” he spoke boldly as he gestured towards the door and she instantly began crawling towards it.

“Mistah J!” Harley squeaked as she quickly moved to grab her,The Joker was too busy laughing to notice Harley’s unimpressed face, as she held the baby in one arm with the other firmly on her hip. She rolled her eyes before forcing April back into her father’s arms.   
The Joker was taken off guard by this and almost dropped her, but quickly adjusted her on his own hip. “Hey!”   
“Just keep a hold of her while I finish the coffee” Harley sighed as she resumed what she was doing.  
“But I’m hungry” he pouted childishly,  
“You can have something to eat while I’m dressing April” she replied sternly with her back turned.  
“Yeah, it’ll only take you about half an hour” He chuckled sarcastically as he bounced the child.


	15. First time

Later on after everyone had eaten and gotten dressed, they were sat in the living room on the floor about to do presents.   
“Let’s give her the one Ivy got her first” Harley squeaked excitedly as she pulled out the metallic green present from behind her back, and instantly placed it down in front of the giggling infant. The child paused and looked at it in confusion for a second, before she pulled her pasty fingers out of her mouth and began investigating it.   
The Joker watched his daughter fiddle with the paper as he looked at it suspiciously, “I’m still surprised she got her something.”  
“Well she is her aunt after all” Harley responded happily, The Joker just continued to stare at the gift as if it was some kind of bomb. Harley ignored his expression and instead gave April a little hand by tearing the paper slightly. April’s face instantly lit up at the realisation of what she had to do, she quickly began shredding it with both her hands and gums. Inside she found a small black beanie hat with pointy ears, similar to batman’s cowl. 

“What have you got sweetie?” Harley asked in a high tone as she then made a small gasp and put it on her to get a better look. April giggled happily while waving her arms in the air. Harley chuckled at the gift but tried to hide it behind her hand, as she looked over to see Jokers reaction. She knew that Ivy probably did this intentionally.   
The Joker did in fact, look slightly annoyed at this as he huffed and rolled his eyes “typical.”  
“My turn!” Harley announced enthusiastically, trying to change his train of thought. She then placed the next item in front of the child who was still giggling and kicking her legs from her last gift. She squeaked even louder and bobbed up and down before advancing on the new present, which was wrapped in black and red stripy paper.   
“She certainly got the idea of what she had to do fast” The Joker laughed, “She’s a smart one.”  
“And she’s enjoying herself too” Harley chimed in. 

Once April finally got inside it, she found a black dress with a purple and pink tutu skirt that had a purple smile on the front of it. April grinned happily as she then stuffed it in her mouth, and proceeded to suck on the fabric.   
“No sweetie, you don’t eat it” Harley giggled as she quickly pulled the item from her daughter’s mouth, while The Joker threw his head back, laughing.   
Harley then set the dress to the side so it was out of her reach, but as soon as she looked away, April pulled off her hat and was about to start chewing on that instead. The fact that Joker’s laughs grew even more, she quickly brought her attention back to the child to see why. “Oh no you don’t” Harley scolded lightly as she snatched it out of her hands just as she was putting it in her mouth. 

The Joker was practically lying down from laughing so much at this point. April’s eyes suddenly started to well up as she reached out for what her mother had just taken from her. That was until her father swiftly plopped his gift in front of her, once he was done laughing. The distraction definitely changed her intentions, as she immediately shut up.  
“She must be teething, puddin”   
“You think?” the Joker responded sarcastically as he then watched the infant attack the last gift, which was done up in purple wrap. Inside was a homemade necklace using a silver chain, and had a small version of one of The Jokers Joker cards as a pendant. She looked at it for a second before waving it around like a lasso. 

“That’s such a cute gift puddin,” Harley awed. He glanced her way and ginned before he was suddenly pelted in the face with the necklace that had come flying through the air. He grunted in surprise before pulling his hand to his face, “What the-?”   
Harley instantly snickered but again, tried her best to not show it. instead she looked down at April who had burst into hysterics from watching her dad get smacked with her new toy. She too then fell backwards from laughing, which Harley then instantly moved to pull her into her lap.   
“Ya know, you are so much like your daddy” She cooed down at her. 

The Joker rubbed the area on his face before he grabbed the necklace and put it over the small child’s head. “For once, I didn’t intend to have this be a weapon, kiddo” he chuckled. “Or a chew toy” he added as he too stopped her from putting it in her mouth. 

..........

Over the next few weeks, Joker and Harley had become increasingly busy. If having a one year old to look after wasn’t hard enough, they had discovered that someone had found the location of where they stash half of their stolen goods. This lead to The Joker going out every day instead of every other day, and Harley joining him more often as they needed all the help they could get when it came to this sort of dilemma. They weren’t sure who was to blame but they certainly knew that they had to make sure that nothing was stolen, and if it was, to get it back and wreak havoc in the process. 

Ivy had found herself babysitting April a lot more often because of this. Before, she would only watch her every couple of weeks, but now it was a few a days a week. She wasn’t that surprised at this, as she knew that this would happen sooner or later. This was pretty much why their type didn’t have children; it’s all fun and games until something serious happens and it’s an ‘all hands on deck’ sort of thing. It was clear that the couple were stressed and tired, but Ivy didn’t have sympathy for them. She had sympathy for April. She had warmed up to Ivy more so than before, but she hated seeing her parents less and less. It had started to take longer for Ivy to calm her down once they had gone, and she was constantly looking to the front door. 

Harley tried to spend as much time as possible with her daughter, as she was mainly the one who cared for her. Joker however, was constantly doing something. Weather it was planning away in his study, commanding henchman or going out altogether. But he still helped out the best he could with April when Harley was busy doing her part of the job. 

They had been hoping to avoid too much attention during this problem, but unfortunately things don’t always go as planned. The Joker went out one night with his henchman on a Job, while Harley stayed home with April. Ivy had had issues with some of her plants dying due to unknown causes, which is why she wasn’t able to babysit like usual. 

Harley knew something was wrong when The Joker still hadn’t come home, even though it had already gone twelve. Her suspicions were soon confirmed when she checked the news, The Joker had been caught by Batman. Harley had stared at the TV screen is horror from what she had seen, and she instantly began to panic. She couldn’t exactly bust him out like normal, she didn’t have anyone to leave the baby with. The only thing she could think to do was wait for him to bust himself out, and kick his ass later for getting captured in the first place. 

The next day, April seemed to notice that her father was missing. She kept looking around and making a lot of loud noises. She was also a lot more adventurous than normal, Harley couldn’t get her to stay in one place because she kept crawling off. It was as if she was looking for him. It broke her mother’s heart to see her like this, it really made her think about how much she must have been doing this when with Ivy. 

Harley wasn’t use to looking after April on her own for this amount of time before, and considering the infants recent behaviour it was definitely proving difficult. April became more and more restless as each day past, constantly making unusual noises and wondering where Joker was. Harley just hoped that he would be home soon. 

It had now been a week since The Joker was home, and Harley was exhausted from caring for April by herself. Ivy was still having issues in her garden so she couldn’t even visit, no matter how much Harley begged. She was currently sat in the living room on a late afternoon. April was on the floor, chewing her teddy while her mother sluggishly folded washing on the sofa. This was one of the few occasions where April was quiet, she hadn’t exactly calmed down in the last week. She had actually gotten worse and cried more often, but luckily she was distracted at the moment. They both missed The Joker, Harley hadn’t even slept much because of it. She just kept reminding herself how lucky it was that she wasn’t with him at the time, otherwise they both would have been dragged back to Arkham. Ivy would not have liked that at all.

Harley was then suddenly pulled from her thoughts by the sound of the front door being opened. She instantly sprung from her place and dashed towards the sound, allowing the folded washing to fall carelessly to the floor. She poked her head out of the doorway just in time to see The Joker stroll in, He seemed slightly out of breath but he held a huge relived smile on his face.   
“PUDDIN!” Harley shrieked with glee as she ran towards him, He almost lost his footing from the force of her hug.   
He laughed aloud as he hugged her back lovingly before she looked up at him, and crashed her lips on his. “You didn’t even give me a chance to say ‘honey, I’m home’” he chuckled down at her once she pulled away. “Did you miss me, pumpkin?”  
She didn’t answer; she just stepped away and proceeded to place both her hands firmly on her hips. “What the hell, Mistah J?!” she snapped, “I’ve been worried sick!”  
“Hey, I got out as soon as I could” he defended quickly with his hands now on his own hips.  
“Well not soon enough!” she countered. 

Their convocation was soon interrupted by April quickly crawling into the room, making a series of high pitched gurgles and giggles on her way to The Joker. His face changed straight away at the site of her and he quickly crouched down with his arms open, before picking her up in a big hug. She continued to giggle as she clung to his clothing like a koala. “Well, it looks like someone missed me” he cooed before nuzzling the top of her head.   
“Have you any idea of the hell you’ve put us through?!” Harley continued.   
The Joker looked up at her and frowned, “What do you mean ‘us?’” he asked, “April doesn’t care that much if I’m not about”  
She glared at his statement, “you just saw how happy she was to see you.”  
“She always reacts that way when she sees us, even if we’ve only been gone a few minutes,” he retorted before handing April back to her mother and walking past towards his wooden chest.

April whined from the loss of contact, as Harley watched him move. “And what the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked angrily, almost surprised.   
“This thing isn’t over Harley, I don’t have time to rest now” He responded in slight annoyance as he fumbled in the box.   
Harley pulled her lips tight as she continued to glare at him, “I’m trying to have a discussion with you here. The reason why she’s like this is because we aren’t around as much as usual!”  
“That isn’t my fault!” he told her sternly as he shoved items into his duffel bag. “Do you think I wanted this to happen?” he asked angrily as he stood up straight. Her expression didn’t change as she stood with an unhappy infant in her arms, “you know, this probably wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t have her.”

Harley’s jaw instantly dropped as April grew restless from the raised voices, “So what are you saying?” She then spoke, “that you wish she was never born?”  
“No! I’m just saying that we could have avoided this” he corrected as he walked into the hall.   
“Oh so it’s her fault!?!”  
The Joker groaned audible with his back turned as he stopped at the door, “Yes it’s her fault,” he rushed out “now let me leave!”

Harley just stood there speechless, with tears threatening to fall but she tried her best to hide them behind her anger. April saw what he was planning to do and instantly began to properly cry and reached for him, as she squirmed in her mother’s arms. She kept repeating the same noise over and over, the same noise she had been making all day. Harley said nothing; instead just watched as The Joker continued to head for the front door in shock that he was ignoring his daughters cry. It wasn’t until she finally cried out “Dada!” that everyone stopped. 

Her father snapped his head to look at her, astonished as she proceeded to repeat the word as it got his attention. Harley was also now looking at her in surprise; she didn’t know whether to be happy that her child said her first word, or be upset considering the circumstances. The Joker smiled softly and looked at her pitifully for a moment, before finally sighing as he put his bag on the floor and walked over. Once she was in his arms, she quickly clutched his cloths again and cried into his shoulder.

As he held her close he couldn’t help but consider staying. He shifted his eyes around the room as he debated his options. If he didn’t go, more problems could rise. But truth be told he didn’t really want to, He was extremely tired from just busting out of Arkham and hot-wiring a car to get home. Not just that, this was the first time he’d been captured since Harley was pregnant. He found himself missing home more than he thought he would, and he realised how much April had affected him. So if he did stay because April wanted him to, it would prove he really is going soft on her, but he still couldn’t help but favour the option. 

Harley could see how conflicted he was by the look on his face, she chose to just wait it out as this was probably a good sign as she stood with her hands now clasped In front of her. 

The Joker then threw his head back and groaned in defeat, “fine, I’ll stay.” Harley’s eyes lit up with joy, “don’t say anything” The Joker added quickly as he walked past knowing she was about to respond. She followed him into the living room as he slumped down into his armchair with April still in his arms. He glanced down at her as she had immediately fallen asleep, before laying his head back against the head of the chair and shutting his own eyes contently. “What a strange life I live” he muttered sleepily. 

He was so worn out he didn’t even notice Harley pulling out her phone and taking a photo of the adorable moment.


End file.
